#if youre wondering. yes. satan is even MORE about cats than before somehow

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

It’s been a few weeks and I still kinda can’t believe I’ve been playing OM again…. like………. This shit is so ass but that just gives me all the more motivation to go nuts with rewriting everything??? Meanwhile, L*vebrush Chr*nicles is right there with writing that’s genuinely 100x better yet I can’t think of a single fic for it… even tho i like dola with 4/5 of the LIs

[books-and-catears]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write some headcanons on how the brothers would react to the alternate timeline MC (the one killed by belphie, rip) haunting the house of lamentation? I just think some angst would be neato. Keep up the good work! I love your writing <3

Oh how much I love this concept. With all the ghost MCs I've been writing this fits in perfectly. How I love writing angst hehehe thank you for this wonderful ask

Thank you so much for your kindness. I hope I can do this justice :')

It has been months since you've been gone. Your body buried in the human world, and yet your soul still felt like it was lingering.

They could see you - a glimpse here, a whisper there and your presence everywhere. Almost as if you just walked past them into your room, and lay curled up in bed with Satan's new books or Levi's new manga. Only you weren't.

The bumps in your bed were just pillows and blankets. The extra chair stood out like a sore thumb. They would so often call you and then feel stupid for expecting a response. Except you had started answering back now.

Lucifer could often hear paper rustling in his sleep. And when he woke up he found the paper work was done more than he remembered doing.

He found his favourite tea brewing whenever he was too tired. And it tasted exactly how you used to make it.

At first he thought it was some sort of sickening joke from his brothers so he threatened to punish them if they didn't come clean. But it was none of them.

Then...MC? Did you come back somehow?

He went into a secret frenzy, looking for you everywhere. Sometimes when the house was empty, he screamed out your name, he could hear your voice softly calling back from your room.

Soon those soft vague sounds became his only comfort - he became super strict about silence in the house. He refused to have any other tea than the one he found magically brewing. He'd always kiss the cups before drinking from them, and his eyes would sting with unshed tears.

___________________________________________

Mammon might be scared of ghosts. But not you. Never you. Especially when he could feel your weight in his arms whenever he missed you too much.

Maybe the sensation was more vivid, since he was the last one to hold you alive. He could also see you. A faint shadow that walked beside and waved to him whenever he was in your room.

And though the shadow had no face, he could tell it was smiling. He felt calm around it. Like you never left. He denied your death the most and now there was reason to.

He barely left the house and most of the time he just stayed in your room. That's where he had most memories with you. Sometimes he found coins and Grimm strewn around your bed, as if you'd left it there for him. He took them and stored them away, never to spend them.

He was overjoyed when he saw your shadow in his room. He started talking to it like it was you, pressing his lips against the walls where you appeared and watching your shadow reaching up to touch his shadow, holding it tight. In those moments he swore he could feel your arms around him again. And on those nights, his pillows would be drenched with his agony.

___________________________________________

Leviathan first noticed it when he saw that Player 2 was always logged in, in all of his games. Even the ones that came months after you were longer there.

And while player two didn't actively play, he found boost items in his game inventory that he didn't achieve himself. You used to hunt down boost items to help with his battles and he protected you during the fights.

He starts getting even more into gaming, to the point where he forgets to go out for meals. Mammon and Satan have to drag him out to eat. He often just sits there talking to himself as if you're still there.

Then one day, in the group texts of the game, he sees you text. Player 2: 'Go get him Levi! I got your back; we have a lot of ammo!" He forgot the game altogether desperately typing back a message.

You don't text as often as he would like, but he's always waiting for whatever you say. It's easily the best part of his day. If he fell asleep in front of the screen, he would wake up covered with a blanket and good morning message on screen. His brothers claim to never have gone inside so he knows it's you. He cries into the blanket you covered him with cause he misses you.

___________________________________________

Satan came to feel your presence in the strangest way. There was a particular cat that you were attached to. That cat started finding ways to sneak inside the house, in the library or Satan's room, holding small books in its mouth.

When Satan opened them up, he found petals of your favourite flowers tucked away in some particular pages. It resembled the way you marked your favorite chapters using colored bits of paper or bookmarks.

He figured out a way to talk to you. He made something that resembled an Ouija board and left a little cat shaped button on it. He tried it out in your room, and it worked. You were talking back. Not whole sentences but broken phrases and words. So he used yes and no questions from then onwards.

He often found new books in his room, a hint that you wanted him to read them. While reading, he could swear he felt your head rest on his shoulder as if trying to read with him. He also left books in your room to read. Though he missed your touch and your voice, the fact that you still talk to him gave him so much joy. He often kisses the books he gives you, hoping they reach your fingers and litters the pages with tear stains in hopes you'd see them and come back.

___________________________________________

Asmodeus screamed the first time he saw you behind him in the mirror. You were transculent, barely visible. But it was you and your distinct smile and wave of the hand, leaning against his bathroom wall, long streaks of dried blood near your neck. He could even smell you - your scent like flowers, firewood and old books.

He tries to talk to you, even tries to hold you but you're just an image. A reflection that reflects nothing but empty space. You don't seem to talk but you nod or shake your head in reply. He presses himself into the mirror as if trying to hug you tight.

But lately he hears whispers, very faint and barely there but he hears them. Always calling him somewhere where there is a mirror. Cause that's the only place he can see you. If you thought he was obsessed with mirrors then, you should see him now.

He almost covered his whole room up with mirrors so he could see you from all angles, making you feel as alive as he possibly could. He screams your name into his pillows. Maybe you would respond if he was louder?

___________________________________________

Beelzebub often passed by you room, all covered now, just like Lilith's. The door was always kept open but he didn't dare enter. But one day, a strong gust of wind blew it wide open as if urging him to enter. So he did.

On the bed he found some fresh treats placed right in the middle of your bed. It was the treats he loved to eat together with you. How did they even get here?

He sat on the bed and absent mindedly started eating. When he ate, he could hear your laughter and you talking - a surge of memories flooding his senses. And when he was done, he could swear he felt your fingers wiping his mouth.

Eversince then he refused to eat anywhere except your room and his brothers had to drag him to the table during breakfast and dinner. But whenever a new bakery or restaurant opened, he would bring all the food back only to eat it in your room. And he would smile, listening to saying how delicious the food is. He would often clutch at his chest and cry, missing the way you used to hold him whenever he was sad. Won't you come hold him now, MC?

___________________________________________

Belphegor couldn't feel a thing. The only way he knew you were still here was when he brothers acted strangely. He'd ask them of course, but they'd never reply to him. He was the reason MC was gone. Why would MC show themself to him?

So he observed his brothers, always cautious for every little thing that was out of place. He'd caught all his brothers crying at some point or the other. Especially in your room. So he'd curl up in your room to spend the night in there hoping to feel you like his brothers. Only he never did, and Mammon and Satan would scream and drag him out the next morning.

None of the brothers would let him inside of their own rooms either. They couldn't save you when it mattered. So now it was their way of protecting whatever essence was left of you.

Feeling dejected and guilty he went and locked himself inside his old attic. He rested his against the bars that locked him in. Isn't this where he first met you, MC? Sigh. You'd been nothing but kind to him so why did he-

"Belphie.." Then he heard it. For the first time in forever, he heard your voice again. Soft and kind - just like before. He looked up and through the bars, he saw the most familiar sight. You smiling at him through the bars, your fingers wrapped around yours. And just like that he broke down. He started howling in pain, as he tried to reach you, but his fingers slipped right through you. "I'm sorry I'm sorry come back please come back!" He cried as you disappeared into thin air again.

My Masterlist .

[hispipsqueak]

Good Little Pet

Satan x F!Reader - NSFW

WC: 2.5K

TW: pet play, anal play, choking, master/pet dynamics, maid outfits, light degradation, unprotected sex

A/N: I’ve been on a huge Satan kick lately. I roast the hell out of him, but would I still die to be his kitten? You bet! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. I have so many fics I’m working on, and not enough time in the day. Thank you for all the support friends. <3 I see your tags and they honestly make my entire life! Also I did proofread this, but I’ve also been staring at it for a week so plz don’t hate me if there’s typos! :D 

All characters are 18+

The House of Lamentation had been unusually relaxed today. Most of the brothers were out, leaving only three home. Surprisingly the room was mostly silent as Levi had his headphones on as he played his game and even Mammon had been quiet, as he fiddled with his D.D.D. 

Satan thumbed through a mystery novel as he sipped his tea. Though he usually preferred to read in his room, the ambience here was relaxed enough for once, that he could focus.

Until the door opened and Asmodeus walked in, dragging you behind him laughing. The two of you had been out shopping and the stack of boxes you held towered above you.

"Ah, Satan could you help me with this?" You asked, giggling about something Asmo had said. Sighing as he placed his bookmark, Satan reached over to help you with the boxes, revealing your smiling face and the cat-ear headband you had on top of your head.

"Satan, isn't MC adorable as a cute cat?! Nya for us MC!" Asmo asked. You rolled your eyes, but put your hand up in a paw shape, letting out a sweet "nya". Satan's eyes widened and he could feel heat rising into his cheeks. He quickly turned around.

"Uh, yes of course. I'll be going back to my room." He placed the boxes on the floor and hurried away as you and Asmo looked at each other confused.

Satan closed his door behind him and pressed his back to the wooden frame. 

Satan often considered himself to be more level headed than most of his brothers, but he couldn't deny his attraction to you. Still, he showed less emotion outwardly than the rest of the brothers and he prided himself in that. However, seeing you in those cat ears, giving cute little meows as your eyes gazed up at him? Satan could feel his growing erection tenting his pants. 

He had seen one of Levi's games a while back that featured a cat girl in a scantily clad maid outfit on the front cover. Now, he pictured you in the same outfit, cat ears atop your head, your skimpy dress leaving little to the imagination as you knelt in front of him, your lips parted waiting for your master's orders.

Fuck. He let out a shaky breath as the image of you bent over his desk, collared and begging for him to fuck you now entered his mind. His hand slid down to his throbbing cock, desperately wanting release. 

A knock at the door interrupted him.

"Satan? You left your book and your tea. I brought it for you." Your voice called out, tentatively.

Shit. Satan looked around wildly. before sitting at his desk to hide his obvious arousal. 

"Come in." He called out hoarsely, hoping you didn't notice the quiver in his voice.

You opened the door, still wearing those damned ears and looked concerningly at him.

"Are you feeling alright? You rushed out of there and your face is really red." You placed his things on the desk as you walked towards him, avoiding the precarious stacks of books around the room. He quickly grabbed a book from the top of a pile and placed it on his lap as you approached him. 

"I'm fine, just got lost in thought." He lied. You raised an eyebrow but didn't press it. The pile of books next to him chose that moment to clatter to the ground and before he could react, you knelt down in front of him to pick up the fallen books. 

He looked down at you and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. You looked up at him innocently, identical to the naughty visions of you in his mind. 

You placed a hand on his knee and he let out a low groan. Your eyes widened.

"Satan? I-"

"Come down for dinner!" Asmo's voice chirped out from outside the door. You stood up and turned.

"Do you want me to let them know you're not feeling well? I can bring you something back."

Satan nodded. He had to really take care of the very pressing issue at hand and knew he wouldn't be able to sit through an entire agonizing meal.

----

"Pass the salt, Asmo."

"I didn't hear a 'nya', MC." Asmo giggled, poking his tongue out at you. Your hand flew to your hair. 

"I forgot I had these on!" You laughed.

"Let's hope Satan doesn't see those." Levi muttered.

You cocked your head. "What do you mean."

Levi's face flushed. "Uh...no reason, er, nothing!!!"

You narrowed your eyes at the reddening demon.

"Satan's obsession with cats doesn't stop at real cats. Didn't he get obsessed with that stupid cat girl game?" Belphie yawned, sliding his half-finished plate to Beel who dug in happily.

"You mean Neko Magic Maid♡. It wasn't even that good of a game!" Levi said, "It definitely wasn't as good as SuperStar Magic Maid…"

"Yeah. I don't think he was interested in the storyline." Mammon interjected, laughing.

Lucifer scolded the brothers for being crass but your mind wandered. Was that why Satan was acting so weird? After dinner, you headed to Levi's room.

"Hey Levi! I was wondering more about that game you were talking about? The catgirl one?"

Levi didn't even turn from his computer screen. "Yeah it's on that shelf. But if you really like the Magic Maid series you should start with Springtime Magic…AHHH HE'S RESPAWNED!" He yelled, ignoring you again for the game he was currently playing.

You grabbed the game and slipped out of his room quietly. Glancing at the cover you saw a cat girl dressed in a ridiculously short maid costume. Her ears and tail were perked up and she donned a black collar around her neck with a little bell and tag that read 'Master'.

You grinned as you headed to your room. This would be fun.

----

"Satan?" 

"Come in."

Satan turned the page in his book.  Thankfully after that disastrous night, you hadn't worn that headband again, though he'd be lying if he said the image from you that day hadn't been filling his mind as he jerked his cock each night.

He heard you step into the room, but you didn't say anything. Looking up, his jaw dropped.

You were dressed in a maid outfit somehow more revealing than the one from the game. Your breasts were practically popping out of the dress, and the short skirt barely covered your ass. He could see the slight bulge of your thighs over top of your sheer thigh-high socks and he had the urge to bite that spot over and over.

You had the cat ears on again and as you walked towards him, he could hear a jingling noise. Glancing at your neck he saw a simple black collar with his name on the tag and a silver bell. 

"MC what are you doing?" He breathed out shakily. You placed your hand on his chest, gently pushing him into his desk chair.

"Taking care of you…Master." You knelt down on the floor and looked at him expectantly. 

Satan blinked rapidly. He had to be dreaming. 

"Can I please you, Master?" You asked. He nodded, at a loss for words, and you began to unbutton his pants, freeing his rapidly hardening cock. Your hands wrapped around it squeezing, and you slowly moved up and down. Satan let out a groan.

You moved closer, pressing your lips to the tip of his cockhead before lapping at the beads of precum from the slit. You slid his length into your warm, wet mouth and looked into his eyes, swirling your tongue around his cock. This elicited another grunt from the blonde demon.

As you bobbed up and down on his length, he rested his hand on your hair, gently pushing you deeper on his cock. You moaned around him and the vibrations made his heart race. He looked down at you, and noticed the tail that led to under your skirt. 

The realization set a switch off in his brain. He bucked his hips, forcing more of his cock into your mouth.

"Ohhhh fuck. That's it kitten. You like choking on Master's cock?" He asked, his fingers gripping tightly to your hair. You could only gag around him as a response, and the noises you let out were absolutely sinful.

"Such a good little pet. Your throat is squeezing me so well, kitten. But you can go deeper, can't you? Don't you want to please your master?" He asked. 

Frantically you nodded and forced even more of him down your throat, trying your best to breathe out of your nose. As you tried to pull back, his grip tightened, holding you firmly in place. Your eyes watered as you felt his cock throb in your throat and your vision blurred, from tears or lack of oxygen, you weren’t sure. He pulled back and you gasped for air, tear streaked face looking up at him. Satan panicked, apologies already forming in his head before you grinned and pulled him back into your mouth.

“Fuuuuck, such a good kitten. Addicted to master’s cock.” Satan groaned out, his eyes closing as you found your pace on his length. He could feel his release creeping up on him, a fiery feeling in the core of him as your mouth enveloped his cock. The room filled with soft pants and the jingling of the bell around your neck. He met your eyes as you continued to take him deeper. He wouldn’t last much longer if you kept like this. 

“That’s it kitten, that’s it. You want master’s milk? Want your cute belly full of your master’s cum? Tell me, kitten.”

You whined around him, releasing his cock from your lips. 

“Please master. Need to please you. Want your cum.” Your eyes were glassy with tears and drool dripped down the corners of your plump lips. Satan wished he could snap a picture of you looking so lewd.

“Good girl. Milk my cock kitten. Milk my fucking cock.” He gasped as you sped up around him, sloppier and more vigorously than before. Spit coated your chin and spilled onto his thighs as you wrapped your tongue around his cock.

“FUCK! Fuck, just like that!! Oh fuck, cumming!! Take it all, kitten. Fucking take it.” Satan wailed, his muscles tensing as he shot load after load down your throat. You struggled to swallow everything, with some dripping off your lips. Breathing hard, he scooped it with his finger, pushing it back into your mouth.

“Don’t waste a drop kitten.”

You sucked on his finger, a content smile on your face. He reached down, tugging your wrists and pulling you to your feet.

“You didn’t think we were done, did you kitten? Oh no...I want to explore every little bit of you.” He whispered, bending you over his desk. Flipping up your skirt he admired as the tail slid into your ass and gently tugged it, pulling a low moan from you.

“Such a naughty kitten. I can’t wait to fill all your holes with my seed.” He said, his hand palming your ass, before smacking you hard. You jolted forward with a soft whimper. He tugged at your tail again, chuckling as you squeezed your thighs together.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already squirming.” His fingers pressed against your drooling cunt. “Already this wet, just from a few tugs on your tail? What a slutty little pet you are.”

You moaned as he pressed his fingers into your cunt, the slick arousal easily letting him into you. He slowly pumped in and out of you as you attempted to grind against his palm, whining when he gripped your hips, stilling you.

“Look at you, kitten. Debasing yourself just to get off. How filthy.” His voice was sadistic and yet your body trembled with desire under his touch. Your brain was hazy with his fingers rhythmically plunging into you and all you wanted was for him to use you for his pleasure. 

“Please Master. Please touch me.” You pleaded, squeezing your thighs together as he pulled his fingers out of you. He pushed you down on the desk, as he pressed his cockhead against your entrance.

“Beg.”

“Please fuck me master. Please let me cum around your cock. I need you so bad, sir – FUCK!”

Satan slammed his cock into you, causing you to cry out. His hand gripped your hip as he fucked himself deeper into you. 

“Scream as loud as you want kitten, no one is going to hear you through the spells in this room. You’re clenching around me so deliciously, pet.” His fingertips bruised your skin and papers and books were knocked off the desk as he slammed into you over and over.

Your body shook and you felt so full with his cock in your pussy and the plug in your ass. You felt stretched to your limit and still he pressed on, fucking you until you saw stars.

“I can feel the pressure of your tail plug through your delicious cunt, kitten. Doesn’t it feel good to be so full? You’re such a lewd little kitten, aren’t you?” As he taunted you with his words, his fingers danced around your clit, causing your legs to feel like they were giving out. Relentless, he continued pounding into you as tears fell from your eyes.

“So, so full. So good, master! Your cock is so perfect, Master.” you babbled, your brain delirious with lust. The fire burning in your core was so overwhelming, your body ached for more and you needed him, needed your master to push you over that peak.

Satan growled, feeling his demon form activate. His tail wrapped itself around your neck, holding you in place as he wrecked you.

“Your lewd little pussy is fluttering around my cock, kitten. Are you going to cum for me? Are you going to cum for your master’s cock?” He panted out. He was close, apparent as his thrusts became harder and faster.

“Yes please Master. Let me cum on your cock!” You choked out, his tail tightening around your throat. Your eyes fluttered as you felt back arch.

“Cum for me, pet.”

That was all it took. You wailed as your cunt clenched around him, creaming around his cock. Your body convulsed and you felt dazed as you gushed around him. 

“Fuck, kitten!” He groaned out. His hand slammed you down as he unloaded into you. He was so deep, you could practically feel his cum in your belly as he shot ropes of his hot seed into your body over and over. After what felt like a lifetime, he slowly slid out of you.

Picking you up he delicately placed you on his bed, wiping aways the traces of cum that dripped onto your thighs. He gently worked your tail plug out and placed it on the desk before covering you with his sheets. 

“You did so good for me, kitten.” He whispered into your skin. Your eyes were too heavy to open, so you just smiled sleepily and curled into his chest. Running his hand through your hair, he undid the cat ear clips and placed them on his nightstand before succumbing to exhaustion, his whispered words barely audible.

“Good little pet.”

[bombyxluna]

Hewo! I’m not sure if ur taking requests, but I have one fo ye. How would the brothers +the undateables react to mc (somehow) being turned into a toddler? I just thought of this, idk y, just did.

This one is so cute anon, and I was so happy to write it! Thank you for the adorable request, I think I’ll post a follow up to it: MC taking care of the brothers and the undatables if they become toddlers! 

PS: I don’t think Satan was ever actually a toddler or a child or something, but I felt like it works for this hc because it’s funny jahsjhjsha

Brothers + undatables react to: MC turning into a toddler

Lucifer

He just knows Diavolo is behind this. what did he even do this time? Pick up on some old magic again? Try to shake things up so everyone gets along? Ask Barbatos to go back in time and pick up you as an actual toddler, just for the lolz? He doesn’t know and he doesn’t have time to care because toddlers are a handful and you’ve tried eating his quill three times now and he is panicking. Hard. He puts the quill and the pen on top of a shelf and when he turns around, you’re gone. He sighs, looking for you on every corner of the office, just to find you hiding behind the curtain. When he finds you, you scream and start running.

Oh, how he doesn’t miss the days Satan was like this. At least you are way less fussy than he was. As he watches you hide behind the couch, however, he can’t contain his smile nor the silly monster voice he makes as he announces he’s coming to find you. He manages to catch you this time and pretends to eat your arm with his hands, making exaggerated chomping sounds. On the third time you hide, though, he has to be honest: he’d take Satan’s mini developed anger over your climbing skills any day. How did you even get on top of the shelf? He blinked. That’s all he did. He blinked. And now his quill is in danger again.

He is completely spent at the end of the day. He hasn’t felt so tired since Diavolo decided changing the color of every single lamppost in the Devildom would be good for “morale” and he had to do the paperwork. He ends up dozing off holding you. When he wakes up to find that little project of human being cuddling to his neck, he smiles to himself. Sure, he’s worried about what happened, but maybe he can enjoy this for a bit more. 

Mammon

No one knows who’s screaming anymore: if it’s you or him. It’s probably both - it’s definitely both. He thinks the witches got to you or something, and he is going nuts, not only because what the fuck why are you like so small now and how is he supposed to take care of you? 

He ends up staying home instead of going out as he planned. Mostly because you refuse to leave his room and keep hiding under his car and in every corner you can find when he tries to get you to leave with him. Once he starts pretending he can’t see you and you giggle and run away from him, he melts a little inside. You play peek-a-boo for a while, but he gets worried easily. His room isn’t exactly the most childproof place in the house, so he takes you to the living room instead - to his surprise, you have no complaints about that.

As the day progresses he somehow gets the hang of taking care of a toddler again. Satan had been a handful but he was much calmer than you were when it comes to playing or tantrums (though if he is honest, Satan’s tantrums were terrifying). He finds an old coloring book in one of the many bookshelves around the house and steals Asmo’s markers for you to play with. You make him sit down to color with you, and he does. The rest of the day is spent with him listening to your made-up stories about the characters in the book. By the time dinner is ready, you’re already tired, and he has to carry you downstairs in a piggyback ride - he complains about it but in reality, he’s having the time of his life. 

Levi 

Honestly what the fuck. He has read about this in manga before but what the fuck. Couldn’t you have turned into something easier to deal with? A cat? A lobster? Anything else? 

He doesn’t know what to do. Giving you an unplugged controller for his video game did not work as planned. You got tired of it easily and whenever he tried to ignore your whining, you’d cry. He thinks about taking you to someone more cut out for this - he remembers mammon being good with children and Beel too, but his envious side doesn’t want to lose to his brothers. 

so he’s stuck with you. somehow he manages to kee you away from his figurines, giving his Ruri-chan plushies to play with instead. He has to admit you’re cute but by the end of the day, he is grateful it is over. As it turns out, he finds out he’s not ready to have children just yet, but maybe in the future? 

Satan

He doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest. After all, this is a side effect of the book he lent you. He thought you had read all the rules before giving it back to him, but it seems that you didn’t - rookie mistake really. 

He feels somewhat guilty about it though, so he does his best to take care of you during the day. He’s a little awkward and unsure of how to engage in your plays, but he does his best. Ignoring his brother’s snarky comments over it being his turn to take care of a baby, he just takes you to his room so he can keep a closer eye on you. You end up asking him if he could read you a story and he breathes in relief - that he can do.

It turns out he can’t. He doesn’t have any books that would be appropriate for children, so he resorts to the internet instead - thank Diavolo for how useful DDDs are sometimes. He finds a small book about a little girl in a red hood, the parts with the big bad wolf seem to scare you, but he lets you cling to his arm and hide your face on his side. At the end of the day, he is okay. The day went by as peaceful as possible, and you both had enjoyed the story. For the entire following week, he finds himself wondering what it would be like to have a child of his own. 

Asmodeus 

He holds you in his lap as he dials the phone. “Solomon what the fuck did you do”. He didn’t do anything, no one really knows what happened, it’s a mess. Asmo doesn’t care much about it though, because you’re a little cuddle bug and he is happy to give you all the smooches and put a bunch of cute bows on your hair. 

He manages to keep you calm the whole day. You don’t even have time to think of throwing a tantrum, because he already has a next activity planned to entertain you. he lets you do his hair as well, lets you paint his nails, and takes so many pictures of you in thousands of different outfits you get a little dizzy about it. He is by far the most careful when handling you and you have a joyful day in the safest environment possible. He lets you take a bubble bath and even if he’s in constant fear of the water being too hot or too cold or you drowning, he powers through. 

He watches cartoons with you when you’re getting sleepy because it’s a more quiet activity. He even teaches you how to tidy up the room and you both go downstairs for dinner wearing matching outfits. When the magic (curse? who knows) wears off and you’re back to being a grown-up, he is pouty. He shows you all the pictures he takes and says you’re the cutest toddler he’s ever seen - satan is a little offended by that. 

Beelzebub

This is unusual. You are much smaller than you normally are. He doesn’t really know how to act when you climb on his lap and push your tiny hands on his cheeks, but he laughs. He ends up taking you to the kitchen with him since it’s his favorite room in the house. 

He keeps you away from the stove at all times, but is willing to let you participate in the cooking process - it’s his turn to make dinner after all. He starts by making cookies for a snack, then another batch of cookies for dessert. Then a final batch because he ate the ones supposed to go for dessert. He melts every time you giggle at his antics, and when you end up with chocolate smeared all over your cheeks, he can’t resist taking a picture and showing to his brothers. 

He is careful when handling you because you’re so tiny now he’s even more scared of accidentally hurting you. He ends up caging you in his arms whenever you get too close to the edge of the kitchen counter, and then just giving you a piggyback ride throughout the entire house while you wait for dinner to cook. When the day is over he isn’t sad because you’re back to normal, but he is happy that he got to enjoy a day with you - he likes children a lot. 

Belphegor 

Well, this is inconvenient, to say the least. you’re staring back at him with huge questioning eyes and to be honest, all he wanted was to sleep. He picks you up nonetheless and sets you down on top of his pillow. Though he tries, talking to you about the importance of naps has zero to none effect on your antics. Instead, you pick up another of his many pillows and hit him with it, screaming about a pillow fight. 

He chuckles, yawns, and picks up a pillow as well. Maybe this will tire you down enough for the nap conversation to make a comeback. It doesn’t work. You just got more excited and hyper. He played himself. 

He thinks about leaving you with Beel but he’s making dinner and lord knows how weirdly focused he gets. leaving you with Levi or Mammon isn’t an option either, and he’d prefer to avoid Lucifer whenever it’s possible. He has no idea where satan or asmo are, so truly, he is stuck. He whines about it to you, and to his surprise, you hug him, asking if his booboo is better. He chuckles again. maybe this won’t be so bad. 

Diavolo

“Barbatos look at this.”

“Barbatos, MC is tiny now isn’t it wonderful?” 

“Barbatos, look at how cute they are - cancel all my plans I’ll spend the day with tiny MC.”

You’re not sure what’s going on but Diavolo is fun to play with so who cares? He indulges in all of your makeshift stories and he doesn’t care if you climb his furniture and go wild. He laughs with you, picking you up and making airplane noises as you “fly” around the castle. He is ecstatic.

He encharges Barbatos with the mission of taking pictures of the two of you playing together and being silly. He never had many opportunities to be around children so he will cherish this to the last minute. You play house, play with legos Barbatos has no idea where Diavolo found, walk around the Devildom together to look at the flowers. The students of RAD are confused because ?? No one knew the prince had a child wtf??? He thinks it’s cute that you’ve been labeled his kid so he goes with it, introducing you as the future ruler of the Devildom. Barbatos warns him it might be a bad idea, but he is sure is nothing Lucifer can’t handle. 

Barbatos 

He is calm. This isn’t anywhere different from the situations you have to deal with when you can time travel, and nowhere near as stressful as babysitting being the butler for the demon prince is. He handles you with care, but he is not too attached and doesn’t participate much in your plays. 

He does answer all your questions and allows you to tag along wherever he goes. Patient as ever, he will explain what every single object you point to is. At some point, somehow he is roped into picking you up because you got tired of walking around the castle. Your hands go directly to his hair, playing with the skeleton wings coming out of his head. He doesn’t mind it, only explains to you what they are and let you try to make them expand and close. 

When you find out he has a tail, he doesn’t mind letting you hug it and touch it. Your curious eyes are adorable and at least it keeps you distracted. When you giggle as he picks you up with it, he thinks maybe he should have filmed that to show Diavolo later, he’s sure he’d appreciate it. He gives you a small plastic tray they have laying around in the kitchen because you want to be like him and carry your own tea - it’s actually juice. Overall, it’s a nice change of pace from his usual days.

Solomon

Whatever magic this is, it’s weirdly insistent in staying put. He tries making you turn back but ends up giving up because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you in any way. He is not the best with children but he does what he can, keeping you away from his room and all his potions as soon as he realizes you’re stuck like this for the time being. 

He ends up taking you to one of the gardens around RAD. He entertains you by making the flowers dance with his magic, and giving you butterfly wings - though making you come down from the tree once you flew over there proves that to be a dumb idea. He sends a bunch of pictures and videos of you to Asmo, who is now in urgent mode and willing his class to end as fast as possible so he can hang out with you as well. 

He gives you ice cream and chats with you about your favorite cartoons - being human has its perks, he knows them all by heart. He even sings some of the opening themes with you. When you start to get too tired, the games on his human phone solve all the issues. Sure, DDDs are great and all, but despite it not working on the Devildom, a human phone has its advantages. 

Simeon 

He is used to this. He is always near the younger angels in the Celestial realm so it’s really no surprise that he is so good at handling you. He doesn’t understand how you got turned into a toddler, but he will protect and take care of you until you return to normal. He has many ideas on how to keep you happy, and they all work. Collages? He will get you magazines. Drawing? He has multi-colored markers at your service. Hungry? He knows the recipe to the perfect pancakes - and you can decorate them yourself. 

You don’t cry or throw a tantrum once under his care. he is delicate when dealing with you, and always listens to all your stories and complaints, comments on them and offers easy solutions. He doesn’t understand some of the references - who is Hello Kitty and why on heaven does she have no mouth? But he does his best to engage with you. 

By the end of the day, he has issued Solomon’s help on finding out how to properly work his phone camera, if only to film a little bit of you and Luke playing together. he is glad you’re okay when you turn back to normal, but he confesses he enjoyed taking care of you all day. 

bonus:

Luke

“There can only be one”, he says before he charges at you with a foam sword. It makes no effect but Simeon has never been more confused. 

He ends up enjoying being able to boss you around and act like an older brother, telling you to color inside the lines and about the proper colors of the sky and the sea. He doesn’t understand what’s so cute about the two of you playing that Simeon just has to take a picture, but he lets him do it anyway. 

He complains when you’re back to normal because he was truly enjoying not being the only child anymore. 

Masterlist

[obeiii-mee]

Hey there! Love your writing. What about MC spending a whole day with just one of the brothers? Like you know, if the brothers were deciding what to do? Sorry if it’s too boring and romantic haha, I’m a lost case, I desperately need that night walks with Satan and working out with Beel in my life haha. Thanks xx

Same though. I love writing just typical HCs with the bros during date night or something. And I’m currently writing a few angst HCs so I really needed this too lmao. I hope you don’t mind these not being too long. I hope this satisfies you lol.

Enjoy!

——————————

The Brothers Spending a Whole Day with MC:

Lucifer:

-Mr. Prideful doesn’t take many days off

-But when he’s with you, he really feels like he can unwind properly

-Lucifer loves going on walks with you tbh

-He feels like it’s a nice break from all of his office work and meetings

-Sometimes the two of you end up in Majolish or a restaurant

-He definitely has a thing for spoiling you on days like these, because he feels he doesn’t appreciate you enough otherwise

-Like when he yells at both you and Mammon for doing stupid shit around Lord Diavolo

-The two of you could walk through the whole of DevilDom hand in hand if you had more hours in the day

-I see Lucifer as a bit traditional when it comes to dating so it’s obvious you’ll have movie dates and everything

-But a day off for him? With you? Away from his brothers, all of their chaos and the never ending attention his paperwork needs?

-It feels like he’s in the Celestial Realm all over again

-He does love you

-His past just doesn’t let him express his affection towards you very well

Mammon:

-If the two of you could spend the whole day together, there are only three places you could be at: Majolish, the casino or trying to make money for Mammon’s debts somewhere

-But it doesn’t really matter for him

-He could be stuck in a broom closet with you and still be happy (though he wouldn’t admit it)

-Spending a day with just him is bound to end in tears to be honest, on his part usually

-Because everything is going well and you’re having fun

-“Ah shit!”

-“Mammon you OK? What happened?”

-“I accidentally sold Lucifer’s gloves for 50000 Grimm!”

-How does one accidentally sell something?

-So he get a bit of an earful for that

-Other than that, being with the second eldest is crazy enough as it is

-You may have lost all that money at the casino but for the first time in a while, Mammon didn’t care that much

-Because you were there and laughing with him about how stupid both of you were

-You guys hit as many shops as possible and just generally have a messy, fun time together

-He often ends these days saying something like “You should be grateful that THE GREAT MAMMON agreed to let you tag along with him today.”

-But just kiss him on the cheek and he will shut up. For like hours. He’ll be too flushed to even look you in the eye

-He really wants to spend another day out with his human

Levi:

-Welp, life of a shut-in otaku

-It should be of no surprise that the two of you spend most of your time in his room

-It’s just the one place he’s most comfortable in and having you there makes it so much better

-Anime’s and video games are a must obviously

-But he loves doing movie marathons with you too (while loudly complaining the movie sucks and that you’re a normie for choosing it. Which means he likes it)

-Maybe a few good hours of him ranting about TSL because it’s Levi

-So the chances of you guys getting any sleep on said day are slim to none

-Also, if you agree to go to conventions with him, he will die of happiness

-On the rare occasion that he does go outside, he’s only out there because you went with him so that should tell you how much he loves you

-But most of the time you’re locked in his room to the point where Luci dearest has to come along and drag you the fuck to breakfast

-Ah, true love~~

Satan:

-I mean, this one should be pretty obvious too

-If he doesn’t enjoy dates in the library, then is he really Satan? (I never thought a sentence like that would ever be typed)

-Most of the time it ends with him reading to you because his voice is sO bEAutIful and you just melt when you hear it

-I will forever hc that he makes sound effects while reading too so imagine that

-You two don’t always get the chance to spend a whole day together

-But he tries to check in on you at least once a day

-*Cue romantic run through the house of Lamentation, trying to find you so he can gossip and bitch about Lucifer*

-Walks with him are very common too

-They usually take place at night, because he’s a sap and he read too many romance books and damn it kiss him already

-He would hold an umbreally over you if it started raining and everything

-Satan takes these moments to chat to you about anything, he just wants to appreciate you being there

-You guys made out several times while on these ‘walks’ ngl skskevshskbeuensb

-One time, you showed him a cat cáfe in the human realm and he went nuts

-Safe to say you’ve been there more times than I care to count, most of which were without permission

-A day with him can either go extremely calmly and end with you guys falling asleep on each other in his room or escalate to either pranking Lucifer or...steamier stuff

-Haha if anyone ever mentions he’s a cheesy bastard, they’re dead before they can say their prayers

-Except you, you get the pass on this one, tease him as much as you want

Asmo:

-Finally, he gets to have you all to himself without any of his brothers cockblocking him all the time~ (same tbh)

-The whole day would be planned from head to toe in activities and events

-It would start with some sort of makeover in the morning (getting your nails done, doing hairstyles, skin routine etc.)

-Then it would move on to some serious shopping sprees where he basically buys everything that he deems to be cute

-They’re for you 100% tho

-The day usually ends with you getting dragged to parties and clubs because Asmo can’t go a day without speaking to other people

-By the time you get home, you’re almost knocked out cold and carrying several bags full of clothes and shit

-But you can never say you didn’t enjoy yourself on these days

-Having Asmo around is exhilarating and somehow, even if crowds happen to not be your thing, it’s still really easy to have fun anyway

-There are times when the two of you stay at home and do each other’s nails and everything

-And you two are very fond of these sort of dates as well

-Of course, all of this assuming he won’t try to seduce you and get in your pants all day

-Turns our Mammon is somehow telepathically connected to you and rushes over any time this happens

-So much for not being cockblocked I guess

-He always switches things up as well which is usually very pleasant because you don’t visit the same shops or clubs every day

-Just be back by midnight or you’ll have your asses handed back to you otherwise

Beel:

-Beel loves you

-Beel loves food

-If those two happen to be in the same room, he might as well die peacefully

-It’s all he ever asked for (especially if Belphie is there too)

-Half of the day is spent at either Hell’s Kitchen or in your kitchen at home

-For him, the food always tastes better when you’re there so if you’re willing to go, then he’ll be like a cheerful puppy the whole time (how many times have I compared Beel to a puppy lmao)

-The other half of the day is spent training

-Work out sessions are important to him and he’s more than happy to let you join in

-If anything, you’ll be on his back as he does his push ups even though you’re not that heavy to him

-It sort of warms that demon heart of his because you’re always there handing him towels and water after he’s finished

-And you always have snacks prepared too which is wonderful really

-Kudos for being able to hide them from him the whole time

-It’s also not that surprising to know that you, Beel and Belphie hang out a lot

-So these days often mean that Belphegor tags along with you guys everywhere

-You won’t notice him tho, believe me, he’ll just stay attached to Beel’s back and sleep the whole time

-If he gets to spend a day with his loved ones, then Beel can honestly not ask for more

Belphie:

-“Belphie...?”

-“Yes MC?”

-“Is.....is that a pillow fort that’s almost as big as the attic?”

-“It is indeed.”

-“Why?”

-“Why not?”

-Tbh it would be a miracle if you two didn’t sleep the whole day

-But if he had to go somewhere with you

-It would be anywhere

-Much like Mammon, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the evironment as long as you’re there

-Chances are, however, that he will sneak you two to the human world a few times in secret

-He still insists he hates humans but truth is, he misses them and their realm

-Going back there, without permission the same way he did all those centuries ago, was like a breath of fresh air

-You guys would be chilling at a park in the human realm, probably make small picnic or something

-Belphie, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, loves these dates and would kill anything on his path if it meant he gets to be in your arms while taking a nap in the human world

-He invites Beel along too which makes everything so much better for him

-He will just fall asleep on you while you run your fingers through his hair

-Belphie is so warm too so it’s likely you won’t stay awake for long either

-Poor Beel has to carry both back to DevilDom but he does it anyway without complaining >:(

-He knows that he isn’t allowed to come up here and that he should stop these dates before Lucifer finds out

-But being out here with you brings him an irreplaceable meaning and you’re so soft and gentle, he can’t resist cuddling into you

-Also he doesn’t give a shit what Lucifer thinks

(Idk why my writing is so bad in this post, it kinda feels like I forced myself to write it and maybe that’s why..? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my mess of HCs)

Al~

[chibinekochan]

My Demon family

You get adopted by Lucifer and Diavolo

Just some domestic fluff. 

In this au the reader is a toddler that brings loads of love and chaos into their lives.

And yes they are married in this Au, congrats boys.

2.9k words

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  A very typical appointment leads Lucifer to take Diavolo's place visiting a human orphanage. 

Lucifer isn't even sure how or why Diavolo is involved here but he is here regardless. 

Counting the minutes until it's over.

  Bored he looks at the children playing, they are clearly scared of him. Nothing new. Somehow small beings like these tend to be scared of him. Probably his demon aura. 

Then his eyes meet yours. You somehow wandered towards him, book in hand and pull on his pant leg. With huge bright eyes you look at him. Lucifer crooks his head, wondering what you possibly want from him. 

You pout, since he didn't get what you wanted at all. "Mister read to me." You plead with him. Being kinda bored by the other adults not paying any attention to you.

Lucifer raises his eyebrows. He hesitates for a moment. How long has it been since any of his brothers asked him to read to them?

  He looks at you, waiting for you to run away from him. Not a single blink. You just keep looking at him, pointing at the book. "Please mister?!" Putting a tiny bit more urgency into your request. Feeling slightly encouraged since he didn't shoo you away. 

Lucifer can feel his resolve melting due to your pleading eyes. You are very good at this, he has to give you that. 

After another moment locked into a staring contest Lucifer lost. 

He probably never truly had a chance. "Fine, but only for a bit." Lucifer gives in.

  You give him the biggest and brightest smile he has ever seen. Even brighter than Diavolos. 

He finds himself smiling back at you. With this success you cheerfully lead Lucifer to the reading corner. You sit down and look at Lucifer. Clearly expecting him to sit down. 

So he does. "Let's see what we have here. The ugly duckling? Can't say I have read it before." Lucifer opens the book. 

"It's not my favorite. I like the cat and the boot better but someone else got it." You sigh disappointed. "Sounds like something Satan would like." Lucifer chuckles lightly. 

"Is that your child?" You feel curious. 

"He is my brother." Lucifer smiles lightly. 

"That's cool, I have no siblings and my parents are in heaven. Do you believe in heaven?" 

Lucifer is a bit taken aback. "Yes, I know it exists for a fact." He gives you a gentle smile. 

"That's awesome. Do you have other family?" You feel like you want to know even more. 

"I have 6 brothers and one sister, she is also in heaven and I'm married." Lucifer feels a bit of kinship with your loss. 

"Wow, so many siblings. Your parents were quite busy. Do you think my parents and your sister play in heaven together?" 

Lucifer is surprised by your bluntness but it's also very endearing. “I'm sure they do.”

You seem satisfied with that.“You are the oldest right?” 

Lucifer laughs at that. "How did you guess that?" 

You shrug. "You just have big brother energy."

"I see. Shall I read this now for you?" Lucifer finds himself smiling at you. 

"Yeah." You nod and Lucifer starts to read the story.

He isn't sure if it's too sad for you but you seem to be too enthralled by the pictures to care much.

  Then someone comes over and apparently the visit is over.

Not much time has passed but Lucifer finds himself reluctant to leave. You also have an equally sad look on your face, just making this so much harder. “Will you come again?" You seem anxious. 

Lucifer guesses that you must worry, you have certainly lost so much and he doesn't want to give you false hopes. Once he opens his mouth something unexpected escapes him: "Yes." This surprises him much more than you, since all he can see is a bright smile on your face. 

"Awesome. Then we can play on the swings and make a castle and we could draw something." You already made plans it seems. 

Lucifer can't help but smile at this much excitement. Only one other person in his life would be so excited over making plans with Lucifer. That being Diavolo. He probably should bring him along next time I meet you. "I might bring someone special along to meet you too." Lucifer can't promise this part, knowing how busy Diavolo is. 

Your eyes are filled to the brim with hopeful excitement. "That would be cool. I might introduce you to my cool friends too then." You clearly can't contain your excitement at all. 

Lucifer feels a strange desire to trussle your hair, but he holds himself back. "Sure, I look forward to that and if you need anything just tell the person in charge you want to talk to Lucifer." He feels compelled to offer you this much at least. 

You crook your head. "Sure, but did one of the older kids really get into trouble for calling upon Lucifer?" 

Lucifer raises his eyebrow, saying he had forgotten about these kinds of humans. "I see, well in that case just tell me when I come back."

  He leaves the orphanage very reluctant. Especially after he sees you waving at him. 

This is what having your heart broken must feel like. It's strange that a small human could manage such a thing in a single day. 

Lucifer returns home, to the demon castle. 

Many different thoughts cross his mind but Lucifer already knows what to do next. 

In the evening Lucifer and Diavolo have their usual dinner together.

  "There is something that I would like to discuss with you." Lucifer doesn't take long to get to the topic. 

"Sure, tell me what is on your mind." Diavolo has noticed that there is something on Lucifer's mind. 

"I know we haven't talked about this yet but how would you feel about adopting a child?" 

Diavolo is very surprised. "I didn't think that you would be interested in a child. Did the visit to the orphanage inspire this desire?" Diavolo is smiling, he always figured that Lucifer is already too busy to even consider a child. 

'I wasn't, or at least I thought I wasn't until earlier." Lucifer smiles gently. "You see there was this small child and I don't know how but they touched my heart." 

Diavolo chuckles. "Sounds like a remarkable child to me. Being able to touch your heart in a single day. It took me centuries to get to that point."

"I was just playing hard to get." Lucifer shoots Diavolo a flirty look. 

Diavolo laughs. "So you are seriously wanting to adopt a child after seeing them once? And here I thought I'm the spontaneous one in our marriage." 

"I thought so too but I guess you rubbed off on me and before making a final decision I want you to meet them. I mean I want to adopt them with you." Lucifer shrugs and then smiles gently at Diavolo. 

"I like this new spontaneous side of you, Lucifer. I will go along. Every person that manages to capture your heart is worth meeting at least once in my opinion." Diavolo smiles widely at Lucifer. 

"Thank you, Diavolo and I realize that I'm quite unreasonable." Lucifer just can't help himself. 

"Well, if it had been me I would have just brought them home with me. So you are quite reasonable in my opinion." Diavolo let's out a heartfelt laughter. 

"I sure hope you don't bring another puppy home." Lucifer shakes his head. 

"I have learned my lesson." Diavolo waves Lucifer off. "Now when should we go to the orphanage?" Diavolo checks his schedule. 

"Oh, and I definitely want to hear the whole story. I might be able to learn something from them." Diavolo is already fully on board with this. No matter how much this will turn his life upside down, seeing Lucifer this smitten is more than enough for Diavolo to do this.

  Lucifer agrees and gives a quite lively retelling of his earlier encounter. Every word raises Diavolos' excitement. 

Soon the day arrives. Diavolo barely contains his excitement and Lucifer seems to be rather nervous. 

"It's kinda like a first date isn't it?" Diavolo muses. 

"Not really, but I understand the sentiment." Lucifer smiles lightly. 

"Do you think that they will like me?" Diavolo seems a bit uncertain. 

"I can't imagine that they wouldn't like you. You are way easier to love than I am." Lucifer pats Diavolo on his shoulder. 

"That's very sweet of you to say. Shall we head inside?" Diavolo takes a small breath. 

Lucifer nods. 

   They both head inside, into a room where you are already waiting for them. As soon as you see them you run to them. With a small push toy in toe. "You really came!" You smile wide at Lucifer. 

"I tend to keep my word." Lucifer smiles gently at you. 

"Is that your special person?" With curious eyes you look at Diavolo. 

Who instantly crouches down, trying not to spook you with his size. 

"Yes, this is Diavolo my husband." Lucifer introduces him with a gentle smile. 

"Hello, you are pretty, a good choice Lucifer. If I had known I would have made you a flower crown or something. Unless that's not your style." You seem to approve. 

Diavolo chuckles and Lucifer flushes a little. "I like flower crowns and who is your friend here." Diavolo looks at your little toy. 

"This is my best friend Tom. He is a bit shy but once you know him he won't shut up." You hold your plush toy up. 

"Ah, nice to meet you." Diavolo shakes its little paw. 

"Reminds me of Levi." Lucifer gives a small laugh. You look at Lucifer with a curious look.

"That's one of my brothers." He explains.

That seems to be enough for now.

  "So what kind of games do you guys like to play?" You look at the shelves of games on the wall. 

"You can decide today." Diavolo offers and that seems to be just the right choice since your face lights up. 

"Then we should go outside. We can only go to the playground but we can make a sandcastle." You seem only slightly disappointed by your lack of opinions. 

"Sounds perfect to me." Diavolo nods to that idea. 

"Oh, but your clothes are gonna get dirty right? Does that bother you?" You just thought about that possibly. 

"Don't worry about it. I have cast a dirt repeal spell on both of our clothes." Lucifer had seen something like this coming. 

"Wow, that's super useful. I need something like that too. I always get scolded for getting dirty." You pout slightly. 

"No worries, I can cast it on you too." It's pretty easy for Lucifer. He easily casts the spell to your amazement. 

"Sweet, do you have a spell that makes peppers taste good too?" You look at yourself, feeling pretty pleased. 

"Sorry, even my powers have limitations." Lucifer chuckles. 

"Too bad." You sigh slightly disappointed. 

"Yeah, if that were the case I'd be eating pickles by now." Diavolo nods to himself. 

"You don't like pickles? You should really eat them or you won't become big and strong." You parrot the one thing that they keep telling you. 

"I think I'm big enough already but I get what you mean." Diavolo sighs, slightly defeated. 

"So, are we going to play on the playground now or what?" You grow slightly inpatient. 

"Of course, lead the way." Lucifer smiles and you proudly show them the way, it's right behind the building. 

You show them the sandbox and grab a few things to build with. 

You then make sure that everyone has a plastic sand toy. 

"How big do you like your castle?" You start by doing the foundation of your future sandcastle. 

"As big as my own castle, what about you Lucifer?" Diavolo can already picture it in front of his eyes. 

"I doubt we have enough sand or space for that. I think this size is pretty good." Lucifer doesn't even know the first thing about sandcastles but he knows it will be impossible to build one as big as a real castle. 

"You live in a real castle? Like some sort of prince or something?" The mention of a real castle is very exciting to you. 

"Actually I'm a prince." Diavolo grins a bit bashfully. 

"No joke? That's so awesome! Wait, does that make you a prince too, then Lucifer?" Your excitement knows no bounds. 

"No, but I guess you could say I'm a royal consort of sorts." Lucifer wasn't interested in the title at all. 

"Royal conort? Sounds like cake or something." You crook your head. 

"Hahaha it kind of does. I should ask Barbatos to invent a dessert with that name." Diavolo can't contain his laughter. 

"Royal consort is just what you call someone who is married to royalty but it does sound silly." Lucifer had never even thought about it. 

"Let's go on the swings now." You had enough building for now.

"Alright. What shall we do with the castle?" Lucifer looks at the pile of sand.

"There is only one thing that can be done." You get up and jump with full force into the pile, destroying the whole thing. 

"Aww too bad, I wanted to finish it." Diavolo looks a bit solemn. 

You get up, shake the sand off and then give him a little pat. "We can build an even better castle next time." 

"You are right. We should make it double as big." Diavolo instantly lights up. 

"I wonder which of you is the real child here." Lucifer shakes his head but smiles gently at you and Diavolo. 

You're almost already on the swings before you come running back. "Come on, don't be slowpokes. The swings are very popular." You nervously look at the currently empty swings. 

"Coming." Both men speak in unison and then chuckle at each other. You clearly have them both already wrapped around your little fingers. 

Pleased you sit on the swing. "Diavolo can you give me a push?" 

"Of course." Diavolo gives you a gentle push, unsure of how much strength he should use.

  Lucifer has a slightly sour expression. 

"You can use the other swing if you want." You aren't sure why Lucifer seems to be upset. 

"No, don't mind me." Lucifer hadn't even noticed the frown on his face. 

"Yeah, don't worry about him. I think he is just upset that you asked me to give you a push." Diavolo laughs. 

Lucifer rolls his eyes but he also can't deny it. 

"I'm sorry Lucifer. You can do it next time, or maybe I can give you a push." 

Lucifer flushes slightly. "Sure, why not." 

You swing some more, while laughing the entire time.

  The time passes before you even notice it. Soon your time together will end. Each of you seems to feel equally sad. 

"Seems like our time is going to end soon." Lucifer has no choice but to point out the obvious. 

You nod, with a troubled expression. It's heartbreaking. 

"Will you come back?" You are a bit scared to ask. You can't even look at them. 

Both men look at each other then they smile. "Of course we will come back." Lucifer says what both are thinking. 

You look at them, eyes sparkle. "Does that mean that you both like me? Because I think you are both pretty cool. I mean Tom is still the best but you are pretty close." You sheepishly squeeze your toy.

"Of course we like you." Diavolo smiles. 

Lucifer seems slightly troubled by the fact that he was beaten by a toy. 

"So, how about I give you a ride home and then we come and play again soon?" Diavolo obviously wants to make this as easy as possible for you and himself. 

"Yeah, I always wanted to ride a horse but  a prince comes pretty close." You agree with a nod. 

Lucifer seems a bit unsure about the connection but snickers regardless. 

Diavolo lifts you on his shoulders and carries you back to the orphanage, while walking as slowly as possible. 

The goodbye is still kind of hard but it's helped by the fact that you will meet again. 

"So we are going to do this right?" Diavolo is the first to speak on the way home.

"Yes, we are but I want to clarify that this isn't just something that will be just fun and games. The Devildom is a dangerous place for children. Human children are extremely fragile so we will have to be very prepared." Lucifer knows this will be anything but easy. 

"So we should make the whole castle human safe and child safe. Lucky enough we have more than enough rooms. I will ask Barbatos to get us some childcare books from the human realm. I'm quite excited just thinking about this." Diavolo seems very giddy. 

"I agree with that. I should get my brothers some books too. They need to be educated. We should take some classes about child care." Lucifer already forms a detailed plan in his head. 

Both keep talking about the adoption, being very excited about the whole thing.

~ So yeah this is it for now. I wanted to write more and maybe I will. I have a cliffnotes version I might post that soon. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed this so far.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Obey Me-ow

All brothers x gn!MC

Words - 1019

Content warnings - pure fluff and lolz

Prompt/inspiration - none

Summary - You are having a normal day with the demon brothers when suddenly they all started saying “meow” instead of words.

NOTE - This was written by my 11yr old. I did not edit it outside of creating paragraphs.

—————

You got up one morning and got dressed, it was the weekend so you got to stay at the House of Lamentation today. You were excited, Beel was on cooking duty today and although it always took him forever to cook cause he kept eating all the food before he could get it to us, and then had to try again, whenever Beel managed to finish it always tasted the best. Maybe that was cause he likes food so much so he wants it to taste extra good? That’s what you thought anyway.

You were done getting dressed and ran to the dining room, ready to wait for Beels cooking, only to find it already prepared. You looked at Beel putting the plates down, none of the others had arrived yet,

“Wow Beel, you cooked those really fast, like way faster than usual” you said, as you sat down.

“Well I thought it was rude to make you all wait for me to cook so I decided to get up early and do it before anyone got here” he replied. And you two sat down to wait for the others.

You started to wish he hadn’t cooked earlier than usual, because now you still had to wait for the other demon brothers to arrive, but the food was right in front of you. And it smelled delicious. Finally though, the other boys started coming in, all reacting the same as you did, surprised at how fast Beel had cooked it. Finally you all started eating, but when the others finished, something strange started happening.

Mammon and Levi reacted first, very strangely too. They fell onto the floor and soon after the others did too. Mammon wondered what had happened, did Beel give them food poisoning? If so why were you not affected. But then a few moments later, he found himself standing on all fours. He felt like he could hear everything, and when he breathed in he could smell better than usual. He looked down at his hands to find no hands at all. He started panicking and then when he looked at his brothers he saw what had happened. They had all become cats!

Levi looked around “o.m.g.” he meowed, “we’re cats!” He screamed with excitement, far more excited than anyone else as his brothers weren’t excited at all. Levi was probably the only excited one because he was an otaku, and this was basically an otaku’s dream, to turn into a cat for some magical reason. The first thing he did was go over to you, he looked up and meowed and purred, hoping he would maybe get pets. He knew it was dumb but this was basically his only chance to ask for pets because doing it as a human would be too awkward. But when he started rubbing on your legs, Mammon jumped in and hissed at him.

You looked around in shock. The demon brothers had become cats! And even worse, because of this you couldn’t understand what they said. This was gonna be a problem. The Levi and Mammon cats stood at your feet, bickering, but they were so cute. You went down and decided to give them some pets, even though they were the demon brothers and shouldn’t be cats you couldn’t help it. They both stopped and started purring and you laughed.

The Satan cat seemed to be interrogating Beel, maybe he though Beel did this somehow with something he put in the food? You wondered and wished you could understand them. But for now there was nothing you could do except enjoy this secretly.

“Beel, did you put anything in the pancakes besides what you normally put?” Satan asked.

Beel looked thoughtful and then started talking “Well I found a thing of syrup in one of the kitchen cupboards it had a little cat face on it, so maybe that did this?” He asked.

Satan sighed, “I bought that to put into Lucifer’s food, it only works on demons but when a demon eats it they turn into a cat!” Satan meowed, only to feel something breathing on his neck.

He turned around with a slight sense of fear to find his fears were true, Lucifer had just heard that.

“So, Satan. You bought this to turn me into a cat as a trick, and then Beel used it as syrup for our pancakes instead and now we’re ALL cats?” He growled, and Satan gulped nervously.

“Hehe, I’m gonna go now...” Satan said, and then rushed off only to have Lucifer chase him around “COME BACK HERE I NEED TO LECTURE YOOOUUU” he yowled. And somehow, over the yowling, Belphie was simply curled up, napping.

After everyone calmed down Lucifer interrogated Satan, asking if there was a cure and he said there was, but only one. The cure for this was to have a human boop the demon-cat on the nose, which was easier said than done, as you didn’t seem to understand what they said.

Mammon tried to figure out how thy could figure this out and then he had an idea “hey wait! Satan didn’t ya’ read about this spell in one of your books?” He asked, “maybe you could lure the human to the book and show them that page and they could read it and realize the cure!” He meowed happily!

“That’s... actually not a bad idea Mammon” Levi purred “if this works then maybe we’ll stop calling you stupid... maybe” he said.

The demon cats ran to Satan’s room to find the book. Only to find the pages shredded to pieces, and the Belphie cat sleeping on the pile of shredded paper, using it as a pillow. The cats looked at each other then at Satan.

“Umm... Satan this spell doesn’t happen to wear off after a while does it?” Beel asked.

“Yes it does” Satan said, “but only after 2 weeks” everyone growled, this was gonna be a looooong week.

[caxsthetic]

Main Character

Tendou Satori x F!Reader

Sometimes we may feel like we didn't belong anywhere. But someday, there will be someone who would show you the right place.

It was cold today, the early spring always made you crave for some extra warm. And for the past few months, you were grateful to have him here by your side. He may be lean and not really muscular, but the fact that he's taller than you, feels like he engulfed you every time he became the big spoon.

"You sure Ushi didn't mind us cuddling here again?" The two of you were longing for each other's warmth since the break after the school year began, "He once caught us making out and trust me, I could never forget the look that he gave to us."

You chuckled when you remember that particular time. Teenagers being teenagers, making out in a place that everyone could come in any time. And for the two of you, it was none other than the blunt ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"I already told him that I am going to borrow the dorm," His long finger grazed on your cheek, gently caressing it as you leaned to the touch, "Well, if he forgot about that then he just have to face us being lovey dovey~" You turned your body so you were now facing him. There’s a glint of adoration shone from your eyes, "Why you look at me like that?"

You didn't answer as your eyes looked at how smooth his hair was when he didn't use hair gel. Your fingers playing with his red strands of hair, and he purred like a cat every time your finger grazed his scalp. To the world, he was a terrifying man, someone that you didn't want to be closed with.

But to you, he was just a man who's afraid to be close with someone else. The world was the terrifying one, not him. If only they just waited patiently while approaching him, they would unravel a heavenly creature behind his dangerous facade.

You were grateful not to hear what the others thought about your lovers. You were grateful to never judge someone with how they looked outside. You were grateful to approach him that day when he tripped while everyone was too afraid to help him. Because if you're not, you would never lay here with him, comforting each other with just being present.

Tendou Satori always looked at you like you were some kind of angel. He's not a fan favourite, no matter how good he was in volleyball. It was always Ushijima this, Ushijima that, Semi this, Semi that, no one ever want to even talk to him if it's not necessary. So when you crouched down in front of him at the spring of his second year, it was the first time he felt like a normal human being.

He has noticed you since a long time ago, way before you helped him that day. You were one of the high school sweetheart; kind, patience, overall didn't even have a bad trait. He always wondered why someone like you wanted to be with him, a monster, or anything that people always called him.

"What's in your mind, Satori?" Your voice woke him up from the wild thought, "You looked... lost for a second there." Worried coated your eyes as you gazed at him. Your fingers never stopped fondling on his red hair, "Mind telling me?"

But he only shook his head, decided to just put his head on the crook of your neck. You were like a safe haven for him, the place where he could just be himself without people looking at him and judging him. Even though you were ticklish over there, you let him be. After all, you knew what always crept in the back of his mind.

So you let him be, until he’s ready to open up to you completely.

»»————-　♔　————-««

The red-haired man was pouting the whole day, wondering why you were out of his grasp these past few days. He decided to check your classroom, maybe you were busy with homeworks already. Every time he walked in the hallway, everyone always made way for him.

It was convenient, since he didn't have to collide with the others. But at the same time, he felt like he never belonged there. Like no one wanted him to breath the same air as him as they stole some glances at him, looking at him like he was some kind of satanic creature.

And it made him sick.

So he strides towards your classroom faster, wanting to see you so his mind wouldn't go wilder than now. He peeked inside your classroom, but he didn't find the figure that he wanted to see so much.

"You were looking for someone?" He blinked when he heard someone's voice talking to him, "I am sorry, are you looking for someone?" The student in front of him becomes a little bit worried when he doesn't answer their question. After all, maybe it was the first time someone talked to him without stuttering.

"O-Oh, yes!" He was now back to himself, smiling giddily as he looked at the student, "Do you happen saw (Y/n)-chan?" He really wished that they knew your whereabouts. He's been craving for your touch since Monday, but now it's Thursday and he didn't feel your fingers on his hair, not even once.

"Oh, (L/n)-san?" His eyes lit up with the mention of your name. He nodded enthusiastically when they looked like they knew the answer to his question, "I saw her today! Ushijima-san came here earlier and picked her up." There was confusion on his face,

Wakatoshi? Why would he even pick you up at lunch time?

"They were just really cute isn't it?" The question that was emitted from their lips hit the sore spot inside his heart, "Ushijima-san has been quite a gentleman, picking her up every lunchtime." He felt so small all of the sudden, he just wanted to run away from that spot, "I wonder, are they dating? You are his teammates, right?"

The student kept rambling about how cute you looked with the ace, and it felt too much for him. So before they could say anything else, he ran. He didn't know where his legs brought him. Somehow when he ran, there were a lot of voices attacking him with the information.

He was too focused to block everyone's whispers before, knowing for sure that people talked about him. Shamefully gossiping and mentioning his name while he walked in front of them. But now, he heard everything.

"Ushijima-san and (L/n)-san looks so good together!"

"They were so perfect, I envy them!"

"But doesn't (L/n)-san in a relationship already?"

"Oh, with that middle blocker, huh?"

"Pfft, as if someone will choose that freak over Ushiwaka."

It was too much for him to handle. He needed you, he wanted to see you or he was going to be insane. He needed you to reassure him that you will stay with him, like you always did every time he fell again to the deep of hell called insecurity.

He kept running, searching for your figure in this gigantic school. His eyes scan the crowd, looking for you, the only one who dares enough to approach him. The only one who dares enough to love a monster like him.

After running around like a mad man, he finally found you. It was easy once you were in his eyesight. You are the only one he saw no matter how many people were there. Maybe it was how the wind blew your hair, or maybe it's just the angelic smile that you gave toward someone beside you.

That's when he realised you were not alone. The unfamiliar scene unfurled in front of him like a movie. Beautiful woman standing with the perfect man at her side, making the heroine smile like she was the only woman in the world. He never suited that, he could never suit that scenario.

Maybe it was the best thing to let the story roll. But he really wished that it was him as the main character instead of the ace.

»»————-　♔　————-««

"Something happened?" Ohira gulped down the mineral water while eyeing the middle blocker, "You seem on edge since Thursday." But the red-haired didn't answer his friend's question, and it made the wing spiker raise one of his eyebrows.

Tendou was usually loud since he was the clown of the team. Practice always consists of him joking around and annoying them. So it was strange that practice suddenly became so quiet, like there's no warmth in it anymore.

Practice has been done for an hour now. But here they are right now, helping the middle blocker to let out his frustration. Even if it's only Semi, Ohira, Yamagata, and him, it was enough to practice his block. They didn't know what caused the change of behaviour, but as long as they could help, they would be there for him.

"I will go back to the dorm now." The voice was so emotionless like he was some kind of robot as he still kept his mouth shut, he didn't want to answer his friend's question.

"Come on, you said you need to let out your frustration, right?" Semi shared a mysterious look toward the wing spiker and the libero. But it didn't go unnoticed by the red-haired man, "Reon needs to practice his spike more too."

Tendou squinted his eyes a little, looking at how nervous Reon was.

"What is it that you hide from me?" All of them looked frantic once the question was out of his lips, "You thought I wouldn't notice how you want me to prolong the extra practice?"

The two look fidgety, and Semi just lets out a long sigh.

"We're so stupid to ever think we could hide it from you, huh?" It was scary, he didn't know what they had been hiding from him. The three of them looked so guilty, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what was hiding on their mind.

Then something snapped at him when he realised one particular person was missing from the extra practice today,

"Where is Wakatoshi?" Reon widened his eyes at the question, and that was enough to make the middle blocker bolted from the gymnasium.

"Why did we stay here and didn't stop him?" Yamagata questioned their action as they just stood there with frustration in their eyes. Semi grabbed his bag and groaned,

"Come on, let's just hope they were done doing it."

Tendou ran towards the dorm building, trying to erase the worst scenario that might happen right now. He didn't even change his clothes, he just ran to search for his teammates. His perfect teammates.

He was panting now when he stood in front of his dorm that he shared with the said man. He let out a long sigh and tried to calm himself down before grabbing for his key. His hand was ready to insert the metal timber when he heard the familiar voice from his room.

It's like life has been drained from his body when he heard your voice inside the dorm. He's not there with you, so why would you be there. It's not possible, right? You said you only loved him, you said the only one in your heart was him. So why now were you all alone in the dorm room with none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi?

"Ushi, we need to be fast!" He could hear you whine from outside, "Satori will be here any minute...!"

"It's alright," He clenched his hand when he heard his friend's voice, "He may have noticed it, you know."

Silence deafening his ears. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it. There's only one possible scenario that happened inside his room. The room where you usually cuddle with him, the room where you always calmed him down after he had a bad day.

He knew what might happen if he opened up the door. The sight will craze his mind, haunting him since the first person that ever loved him, falling for someone that was better than him. But he did it, he inserted the key and twisted it. Once he opened up the door, he knew he wouldn't forget the sight that was unraveling in front of him.

"S-Satori!" You widen your eyes when your gaze falls to your boyfriend's figure. He wasn't supposed to be here right now, he was supposed to practise with the others. Not here, not when you were not ready yet.

There you were, sitting at the carpeted floor with a guide book in your hand. The floor was full with plastic pieces that he recognized as model kits. Ushijima was holding two pieces of it with confusion plastered on his face.

You were frantic, didn't know what to do since the plan was horribly gone wrong. So you just snatch the cover of the model kits and put it on the box. There's a wide grin on your face as you stood up and approached him,

"You were not supposed to be here now, but," You cleared your throat as you showed the box to the middle blocker, "Happy birthday, Satori!"

He was standing there and his body was tense. It’s not what he thought, you were not leaving him for somebody else. You blinked when you saw the unreadable expression from his face. But then his eyes went glossy, following with tears streaming down his face.

"S-Satori," You put down the model kits that you bought from the internet the other day and focused on your boyfriend, "Baby, what is it? I am sorry for neglecting you these past few days! Oh my god, please don't cry!" You were now a crying mess too. Every time someone that you care about cry in front of you, you couldn't help but do the same.

You wrapped your arms around his head, pulling him to your embrace as the two of you fell down to the ground. His arms wrapped around your waist immediately. You never saw him like this, crying uncontrollably like a child that just dropped his ice cream.

"Not fair!" He screamed between the sob, "I thought you left me or something," It broke your heart to see him like this, "I thought you were tired of me and decided to love someone else, (Y/n)." You bit your lips, it was all your fault to make him feel like this.

You kissed the crown of his head, soothing him as you try to calm him down,

"I am so sorry," You whispered out, "I love you, Satori. I love you so much, I promise I wouldn't leave you." He didn't let go of you and just positioned himself comfortably in your embrace. You wiped the remaining tears from his cheek with your thumb. He started to lean on your touch and just snuggled you there.

"I hate chu~!" He pouted, making you giggle as he looked so cute every time he acted like this, "Why couldn't you just give me a wonderful birthday surprise without giving me a heart attack beforehand?" He kept whining and pouting like a child.

"Well, I am sorry." You cupped his face and pampered him with kisses, he giggled at this and pampered you back. He pushed so your back was now lay on the carpeted floor, "Satori..." Your voice was sweet, and he had to throw his gaze away for a second to control himself.

"Let's get you to bed," He hoisted your body up and tucked you gently to the bed. He positioned himself beside you, snuggling below the warm blanket. Now, this is where he belongs to, with you by his side.

He didn't need anybody else in this world, as long as you were there loving him completely. He didn't need a perfect scenario, he just needed you to be the heroine in his own movie, where he was the one who got the most beautiful girl.

"What's in your mind, Satori?" He looked at you with adoration twinkling in his eyes, "You looked... that you were thinking about something." You always asked him that every time he got lost in his own mind. Maybe it's time, maybe it's time for him to pour everything in his mind to you, trusting you completely.

"You know, sometimes I will think that I am not good enough for you," You wanted to retort, but he shushed you with a peck on your lips, "But, I trust you." Your eyes were now glossed with a little happy tears that were trying to spill already, "I trust every word you said that you will never leave me." You nodded, reassuring him along the way that you meant everything that you have ever said to him.

"I love you, Satori." He grinned when he heard the three words that always brightened up his day, "I love everything about you."

"Hehe~ I know!" He pecked your lips again and nuzzled at the crook of your neck, "I love you too, (Y/n)." His voice was calmed since he was in the right place. He closed his eyes, listening to your heartbeat, "Thank you, for even loving the monster inside me."

He was always the main character in this scenario, and you will always be the heroine who falls in love with the said character. This is where the two of you belong after all, submerging in each other's company. Loved, and appreciated.

OMAKE:

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶    *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tagged Lovelies:

@benewol​ @letmeshouyou​ @nitricflame​ @iwaixiumi​ @vventure​ @heccingdead​ @muffins-puffins​ @miyulovestowrite​ @nanashinanashi​ @muffngw​ @vlovers-world​ @proplayer-kenma​ @kashika​ @cuddlyasahi​ @blacckdiamondposts​ @allywritesimagines​ 

[calbrina]

UNEXPECTED [Caliban x Reader]

SUMMARY: The reader is about to be offered as the pagan virgin sacrifice. Not if Caliban has a say in it, though.

Warnings: not really, reader has a nightmare at one point

Length: around 3300 words. I know. I'm sorry that this turned out to be such a monster! 😅

This was requested: A Caliban x reader where instead of Harvey being taken as a virgin sacrifice the reader does. Please and thanks in advance 😊

Requested by the lovely @rachelle3musicals

Also, just as a little heads up: this is the first imagine I've ever written, but I hope I did alright! Also, English is not my mother tongue, though I hope I didn't make too grave mistakes!

Have fun reading and please, tell me what you all think about this! :)

xxx

UNEXPECTED

So. This was it.

This was how you were going to die.

You’d never given that much thought to how you were going to die before – you were still in high school, after all! – but still, you’d never imagine that you’d die like this.

Being offered as a virgin sacrifice to some pagan nature God. One thing was for certain though: you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

 And so, even though you felt the fear and panic creeping in on you, freezing you from the inside, you struggled against the rough hands forcing you onwards.

You couldn’t see where they were dragging you towards, due to the fact that they’d blind-folded you, but you could still hear Roz’s, Harvey’s and Theo’s anguished, panicked screams.

This didn’t really help you, though, no, you only felt your panic intensifying.

Surely, it wasn’t really going to end like this, was it?

 Before you could form another thought – a better survival strategy, other than aimlessly struggling against your captors – the people dragging you towards Satan only knew what, stopped.

For a moment, you were too stunned about this, to think clearly, but then you realized: this was it! This was your chance to escape them!

It seemed like you’d only twitched and they were pulling at your arms again.

“Not so fast”, one of your captors grunted.

Damn it, they really were much stronger than you. You definitely would have to take that promise that you’d made to Sabrina and Roz about joining the cheer squad and practicing together with them, seriously after all of this was over.

 Though at the moment it definitely looked like worrying about cheer practice and your muscle strength would be the least of your problems, considering the fact that you were currently held captive by some crazy pagans who wanted to offer you as a virgin sacrifice to some pagan god.

One could always try with a little humor, though.

You had been stuck so deep in your own thoughts, that you hadn’t even noticed that your captors had untied the ropes that had previously bound your hands and legs together. And they’d even lifted your blindfold!

But why were Harvey, Roz and Theo screaming your name with even more panic than before? That didn’t really fit together, did it?

 You only realized that your captors were pushing you up, planning to now bind you against a tree, when it was already too late.

The tree’s vines were already twisting, stretching out towards you, pulling themselves around your arms, squeezing, so that your captors barely had to do anything anymore.

For a few, horrible moments you were too stunned to react. You couldn’t, wouldn’t believe that this was actually happening to you. Before, with the pagans dragging you along into the unknown, it had been bad enough.

But then, you’d had the slightest hope of escape left.

Now though, reality was dawning on you in form of the tree’s vines slowly, but surely squeezing out all the air out of your lungs, your life out of you.

And all you could do was cry out in pain, completely defenceless, completely hopeless.

 “Stop”, an unfamiliar voice suddenly said.

It didn’t stop. You didn’t have the strength left in you to open your eyes, you could only struggle against the tree’s unrelenting vines, whilst screaming out in anguish and fear. You were so desperate; you didn’t even notice the struggle going on underneath the tree that was draining your life out of you.

But then, something changed.

The tree stopped.

You could breathe again.

You could breathe again.

You could move again.

You hadn’t died.

 As all of these things began to dawn on you, you could hear an agitated conversation going on around you.

You opened your eyes – only to feel the need to close and then open them again, just to make sure that what you were seeing was actually happening.

Caliban.

He was right there, Caliban. Self-proclaimed asshole-prince of hell. And he was climbing up towards you.

Was he the one who had saved you? But why? Why would he do that? There we so many questions, yet now that the worst was over you felt utterly tired. And dizzy.

Everything was spinning before your eyes.

Maybe you’d really died and you were already in hell? That would explain why Caliban was there as well, at least.

 But then you suddenly felt two hands carefully touching you, pulling you out of the tree’s dead clutches.

It really was Caliban. He was there, right before you, pulling you out of the tree and lifting you up.

“What?”, you croaked.

He only gave you a Cheshire cat’s smile in return.

And the last thing you felt before the darkness fully enclosed you were his strong arms, carrying you, and his warm chest your head was rested against.

Maybe Sabrina was right – maybe hell really wasn’t so bad after all.

  xxx

  You had no idea how much time had passed when you woke up again.

To make things worse, you had no idea where you were. In a bed, sure, but you had no idea where.

Then the memories came rushing back at you. The pagans and their crazy virgin sacrifice. How they’d trapped you and your friends and in the end decided to make you their virgin sacrifice.

You didn’t want to think about those horrible moments where you had indeed been sure that you were going to die, so of course, your mind had to settle on Caliban.

Why on earth had he been there? And, what was even more intriguing to you, why had he helped you? He hadn’t needed to. There wasn’t anything he could gain by saving your life except your gratitude – which, surely he didn’t care about at all.

 Why had he helped you?

You really couldn’t wrap your head around it. You had only seen him twice before, both times very brief and both times it had seemed like he’d barely noticed you because he had been so focused on Sabrina and winning her favour.

You had your suspicions – theories, more likely – why he’d helped Roz: to impress Sabrina.

But this time, Sabrina hadn’t been there.

So why had he just saved your life? It just didn’t make sense.

 You tried to get up – you needed to find out, where you were and how much time had passed.

But you’d barely sat up when the pain hit you like a knife being twisted around in your chest. It hurt. You could barely breathe.

You couldn’t help it, you cried out in pain. Immediately you bit down hard on your lips.

But then, suddenly, Caliban was there, right at your side. It seemed like he’d just appeared out of thin air, like you’d seen him do it before.

He steadied you, slung an arm around your waist and propped you up against him whilst you gasped out in pain.

 “I take it you’re awake after all”, he said, voice tinged with irony. His warm breath fanned over your neck, but you weren’t about to get distracted by that.

“Why did you save me?”, you asked him instead, meeting his gaze. You’d intended to sound eloquent, but the only thing you could manage was a croaky, rasping voice.

“A simple ‘Thank you, Caliban, for saving my life’ would’ve been sufficient enough, Y/N, you know?”, he said.

You snorted in exasperation – your chest wasn’t thankful for it. Trying to draw breath was utter pain. Caliban caught your gaze again, you still couldn’t figure out the look in his eyes.

Surely, it wasn’t concern? No, that was ridiculous. It was Caliban, after all. Maybe the tree hadn’t only tried to snuff out your life but had also killed some of your brain cells.

Yes, that had to be it.

 “Oh c’mon, don’t pretend it was for some noble reason, we both know that that wasn’t the case, Caliban”, you said.

Whatever you’d thought you’d seen in his gaze before, it was gone, immediately. He glared at you.

“Don’t assume to know my intentions”, he growled. You could feel his voice vibrating against your back.

He still had his arm around you, you were still pressed against him.

You were still glaring at each other.

 “How are you feeling?”, he abruptly asked you.

“I – what?”, you answered, completely confused.

He rolled his eyes at you, his expression clearly telling you that he wasn’t going to repeat his question.

“Fine”, you replied, gritting your teeth, trying to smile through the pain. You didn’t know why, but you knew that you didn’t want Caliban to find out that you were still in severe pain.

“Oh really?”, he said, quirking an eyebrow at you, tone implying that he didn’t believe you at all.

 You intended to huff out in exasperation, but instead the only thing you could manage was a miserable rasping sound. This damn tree had really tried to suffocate you and if it hadn’t been for Caliban, it would surely have succeeded.

You clutched a hand to your chest, just wanting the pain to stop.

Your eyes landed on Caliban again. His gaze was fixed on you, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

Then – somehow, the pain became somewhat bearable. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“Your friends are all fine, by the way”, Caliban suddenly said, before you had the chance to thank him.

 The tenderness – which you most definitely had imagined – was gone from his face, back was his usual arrogant expression.

You felt utterly irritated and annoyed, both because of him. You couldn’t figure him out, you really couldn’t. That was frustrating you more than you would’ve liked to admit.

“And you’re at Theo’s uncle’s farm, in case you were wondering”, he added. He continued speaking, not even giving you the chance to say anything.

“You should get some rest, though Sabrina and I both did what we could. That tree did some serious damage to you.” He paused, and his gaze found yours again. He seemed as if he wanted to say something else, but then he just said:

“I take it that you’ll be fine on your own. There’s been someone here to check on you every few hours though, so… Anyways, I have other things to do this as well, now that you’re…”, he stopped, looking annoyed with himself.

 He slowly got up, carefully taking his arm away from your waist. You immediately felt the absence of his warm body, which had been pressed up against your back.

“Caliban…”, you began, but then you stopped too, not sure what you even wanted to say.

His gaze found yours again, and then, just like that, he was gone.

 “Aaargh”, you groaned out in annoyance, angrily glaring at your pillow as if that would somehow solve your problems.

You just couldn’t figure this guy out, seriously though. There he was, acting like an arrogant jerk the first two times you’d met him, and then he saved your life, only to be annoyed at you because you didn’t worship him afterwards.

Granted, maybe your reaction to him saving your life really hadn’t been the best. You still needed to thank him for saving your life, you realized. Though, you still wanted to know why he’d saved your life.

Damn him for acting so irritating, one second being a complete jerk and then the other second it almost seemed like he cared about you, which… surely couldn’t be true, could it? You were only an ordinary mortal, after all, most definitely not of interest to the Prince of Hell.

And, really, damn him for being so incredibly handsome. Your cheeks felt aflame, just thinking about how you’d been pressed up against him just mere moments ago.

 You pinched your nose in frustration.

Somehow you felt like what had happened with the pagans had been nothing at all compared to the conversation you’d just had with Caliban.

He was irritating you so much, it was beyond frustration.

 xxx

 You felt the tree’s vines sneaking up on you, tangling themselves around your body, and you knew: this time there would be no one there to save you.

This time, Caliban wouldn’t show up.

This time, you were truly going to die.

 “NO!”,

“Y/N, please, listen to me, it’s just a dream, please wake up, damn it!”, you could feel hands on your shoulder, trying to shake you awake.

You jerked up and your head nearly collided with Caliban’s bare chest. How had he gotten here so fast – could he possibly have known that you’d been having a nightmare?

Also, was this guy ever wearing a shirt, like at all? Not that you didn’t appreciate the view, though.

“Caliban!”, you gasped out, at the same time as he asked you:

“Y/N, are you all right?”

 “Could be better”, you said, a feeble attempt at trying to lighten up the mood. Caliban didn’t look convinced at all.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there earlier…”, he said and it somehow sounded like he hadn’t actually intended to say this out loud at all.

“Thank you”, you said, deciding that a thank you was definitely overdue at this point. Instead of the self-satisfied, arrogant expression you’d expected, he only looked at you in confusion.

“Thank you, for saving my life. And for uh, you know…”, you gestured vaguely with your hand at the two of you.

 Your hand brushed his chest. His breath caught for a moment and your eyes met. You hadn’t realized how close you two really were.

A loose strand of hair fell in your face and you wanted to brush it away with your hand, but Caliban’s hand was there first.

You looked at each other again.

You could feel his heart beating, you hadn’t taken your hand off of his chest yet. You vaguely wondered why.

Caliban looked at you and you felt shivers going down your spine. You really couldn’t figure him out – though suddenly you weren’t so sure if that really mattered all that much anymore.

 “Y/N”, he said and you were glad that his voice sounded slightly husky and irritated, because you took that as a sign that you weren’t the only one confused in this situation.

Were you only imagining things or had you two somehow moved closer together and you just hadn’t noticed it?

Because suddenly it seemed like you just had to lean in slightly and you could’ve touched the tip of his nose. Or his lips.

Why on earth were you suddenly thinking about touching his lips? This was Caliban after all! Caliban, whom you didn’t even like – that’s what you were trying to tell yourself, at least.

 “Why did you save me?”, you asked him, voice just slightly more than a whisper. You didn’t know how you knew, but somehow you were sure you’d get an answer this time.

He sighed. His eyes captured yours again and this time, you really could’ve sworn that your breath actually stopped for a second, when you looked into his eyes.

Was it even allowed to be that beautiful, to have such wonderful eyes?, you dimly wondered.

“Y/N….”, he began, and he suddenly looked uncomfortable.

 Again, he looked at you, as if trying to figure you out, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle and you were the last missing puzzle piece to make it complete.

Caliban, Prince of Hell at a loss for words. Now, this was something you’d definitely never expected to see with your own eyes.

And, truth be told: you somehow kind of liked it that you seemed to be the reason for his speechlessness and irritation.

This suffocating, life-draining pagan tree really had gotten to some of your braincells after all, you were sure of it.

 “Y/N…”, Caliban said again, but this time, it was barely more than a whisper. Now, he seemed like he was already regretting the words he was about to say.

“Surely, you won’t believe it”, he began, voice suddenly bitter and cold, “but I like you. I didn’t save your life to impress Sabrina and to convince her of my good intentions – though, I won’t lie, that’s definitely a side-effect I don’t have anything against – I saved you because I like you.

I saved you because I couldn’t stand the thought of you dying.”

You were stunned. Truly, stunned. Speechless, for once.

You’d expected anything, really, but definitely not this.

 When your eyes met again, you didn’t only feel shivers going down your spine, no, you could also feel goose bumps building on your arms.

Damn this stupid, hot, clay Prince of Hell, who kept on irritating and frustrating you! And damn him for being so close to you…

He inhaled sharply and you could feel his breath on your skin.

“Caliban, I…”, you began, unsure of what to say.

He clearly mistook your searching for words for something else, you hadn’t even intended to hurt him with your words.

 “Go on and make your clever remark, about how this surely can’t be my real reason, because I’m the worst, isn’t this what you’re thinking right now?”, he said bitterly, not looking at you this time.

However, he still hadn’t moved away from you, your hand still lay on his chest and you two were still extremely close – so close in fact, that you only had to lean in just a little bit to kiss him.

You weren’t really sure why you’d done it, it wasn’t only because you truly couldn’t stand it to see Caliban so bitter and disappointed. No, you had to admit it to yourself, it was also because you’d wanted to kiss him.

You’d really, really wanted to kiss him.

If were you being really honest with yourself, you’d wanted to do so, since the moment you two had moved so closely together, but it was his confession that had really sparked the desire to kiss him in you.

And also – as there was no point in denying it anymore – you also liked him. Had your feelings for him started out with constant annoyance and frustration, you now felt like lighting up whenever you saw him.

 For one, terrible moment, you were utterly convinced that you’d done the wrong thing, because Caliban didn’t react, it felt like you were really kissing clay.

You were already in the motion of pulling away – and then springing up from the bed and running away from this humiliation – when suddenly, he kissed you back.

Damn.

Kissing – truly kissing Caliban – felt like the ground was being taken away from under your feet, but in a good way.

It was intoxicating.

 Where you had been unsure and not entirely convinced in your action, when you’d leaned in to kiss him, and had only lightly touched his lips with yours, there was none of that hesitation in Caliban after that initial moment.

The kiss was feverish and heated and somehow almost felt desperate. You two were surely desperate to get even closer, he put his arm around you and pressed you against him and somehow, your hand that previously been lying on his chest found its way into his hair.

You could have gone on kissing him like this forever, it just felt so right, but after some truly glorious moments Caliban broke away, breathless, but smiling.

 “That was…”, you panted, again, searching for the right words.

“Incredible?”, he suggested with a lazy grin, a hint of the usual arrogance back in his voice.

You rolled your eyes at him, which only caused him to grin even wider.

“So, you’re still a virgin, right?”, he suddenly asked, smirk only growing wider at your exasperated huff.

But then you only smirked back at him – and kissed him again.

[hacker-of-fandom]

Obey me characters reactions to a chaotic ratman human.

Sidenote I was high on tired and chaotic rat TikTok enjoy.

Lucifer:

What the fuck is that thing.

This thing was supposed to go to school with demons and angels.

Thought he summoned the wrong person until Mc responded to the name that he called.

A more chaotic Mammon but he does shit for no reason. LIKE AT ALL.

The first time he saw Mc petting a rat inside the house, he felt himself cracking.

"Mc.... What are you holding?"

"My new friend."

"Is your friend... A rat?"

"Why yes he is, most rats don't like being called a mouse or rodents. So he thanks you for that."

"Would you like to pet him? Oh, you've gotten quite pale."

Might have begged Diavolo to change the human students with someone else. As you can tell that didn't go well.

But-

Mc did have some good flaws.

He has good advice for the stupidest things ever, that just so happens to help in the most interesting times.

Like when the sink starts to flood the kitchen, just to grab Mc and give him a wrench and leave him in there.

"Don't let anyone come in here until I've texted you so, okay?"

Gets a text like a minute after that saying that everything is back to normal.

He runs in there not believing that shit.

No doubt the sink is fixed and there is no more water on the floor. And it seems like-

Mc is cooking dinner???

Lucifer is baffled how that even worked.

Another thing is, while Mc doesn't look like he could even be a suitable tea guest with his messy knotted hair, black ripped clothes, and usually a rode- rat on his shoulders. He likes tea.

Very much so.

"No, no Lucifer. I'm not saying the Earl Grey tea that you brought isn't good, it's just that I can tell that you boiled the tea leaves for way too long. A minute longer than needed if anything- Lucifer. Please don't raise your voice, Charlie doesn't like it."

He will never admit that a ratman was actually right about how long you needed to boil Early Grey tea leaves.

His nickname from Mc is, "Prideful boi" or "Lucyyyyyy~"

When he realized he couldn't get Mc to stop calling him Lucy, he just stopped getting mad over it. He now seems to almost smile at it.

Almost.

Mammon:

He has to watch over this human?

Oh hell no.

Is what he thought when Mc first came to Devildom. But now?

Mc is his escape buddy.

You know how Mammon gets tied up from the ceiling like every week?

Mammon just needs to call out for Mc and he'll come with a smirk on his face.

"What'cha do this time, greedy boi?"

Mammon can't even lie to him.

"I tried selling one of Lucifer's rings."

"Oooooh, yeah that'd getcha stuck. So whatcha goin do for my comrades and I?"

"I'll tell the local crows to stop hunting you guys?"

... The rats basically cheer at that.

"You have yourself a deal."

In the next ten seconds, a small army of rats have bitten the rope apart to have Mammon fall into Mc's arms.

Even with Mc scruffy look, Mammon can't really deny that Mc's smirk is very nice looking.

In class, they pass notes to each other with the rats.

Might have matching necklaces to show both crows and rats that they are equal.

Crow king and Rat king.

Bonus points if they now have networks of crow and rats stealing people's stuff.

"Crow bro", "Mamoney", and, "Cutie".

"Don't pet me when saying that! NO I'M NOT BLUSHING, STOP PETTING ME!"

Leviathan:

Didn't really care.

Just another normie.

Until.

"WHERE IS MY SERIES OF "Rat God and snake hybrid fall in love after meeting each other in the woods!" ROMANCE MANGA!"

He was so sure it was Mammon. He was about to storm up towards his seat in the dining room but-

"Oh, wait- oh man I'm sorry dude. That was totally me." Deadly silent.

Rat man knew how to read?

"What."

Mc explains that he was bored one day and asked if the rats could find him a manga to read. He just never got where they got it from.

Apologies for the inconvenience and hands him the manga that he was currently reading.

Was in such a state of shock that he didn't even comprehend that rats somehow got into his room and got the books of the top shelf.

"Y-you read manga?"

"Yeah, I watch anime and play video games too in my free time."

"Oh- w-well! I bet you don't even play Heros alley!"

"I've played both demos, the first game, and the dev even emailed me a few days ago, about letting me play the second upcoming Hero Alleys 2 game before the release to see my opinion."

He can't believe it.

"You know Kero-sama?"

"He's an old high school friend, yeah."

Begins to worship this rat-man.

Probably hugs Mc crying.

Spends so much time texting each other about games they've played and animes. That Leviathan realizes Kero is not the only game creator Mc knows.

Mc knows a lot of famous people in the Otaku world.

Leviathan sometimes leaves out open bags of chips for the rats that come by his room when Mc is gone.

Might accidentally confess his love towards Mc to the rats.

Mc explains the next day that he can understand what the rats say to him. And that he thinks Leviathan is pretty cool to be around as well.

Leviathan might die.

"Gamer bro.", "Envy boi", and "Levi-Kun".

"Don't call me that!" Five minutes later... "Can you call me Levi-Kun again, please?"

Satan:

Hates rats.

With his cat love, he wouldn't bat an eye at a rat dying.

But when he finds rats in the library in huge group pushing specific books of shelves with Mc sitting on a couch reading the books to them, and them sitting in crowds just watching and listen to his voice. He might think twice before kicking them.

Other than Mc's messy looks and chaotic personality, his voice was often very nice to listen to. So when he saw this reading group of rats, he slowly walked towards Mc before sitting down on one of the empty seats. As all of the other seats were taken with rodents.

It was ironically the Nutcracker, that Mc was reading out loud. At it seemed like he just started on the book. When the nutcracker and Ratking were fighting, Satan summed that the rats would hate the nutcracker.

But to his surprise, the rats cheered or jumped around when the Rat King was defeated. And Mc laughed at their antics.

Mc ended the book with a happily, "The end!".

"Sorry, Satan. You were probably looking for something."

Satan snapped out of his daydream and realized, yes he was looking for a book before coming here.

"Oh no it's fine, this was actually quite entertaining. May I ask some questions?"

"Shoot."

This ended up in a beautiful friendship of two chaotic people who love torturing Lucifer and reading books.

And yes, Satan does try to protect some rats from cats now.

"Kitty cat", "Angry boi", "Bookworm" and "Mine" are all nicknames that has made Satan stop reading or keeping a straight face.

Satan was reading a book while Mc was holding him against his chest, reading over his shoulder and just gripped tighter on Satan and said,

"Mine." Satan didn't know who he was telling that to but he was pretty sure his heart just picked up it's speed and lost his place in the book.

His voice is very nice, okay?

Asmodeus:

GrossgrossgrossgrossgrossGrossgrossgrossgrossgrossGrossgrossgrossgrossgrossGrossgrossgrossgrossgross

Did he mention gross?

Mc needed to take a shower! Do his hair! Clean up! Wear some good clothes!

AND FOR DIAVOLO'S SAKE GET RID OF THE RATS.

Asmodeus avoided Mc like the plague. I mean- rats have been involved with many plagues so it's no surprise.

But one day-

"Hey! Asmodeus! I think you lost this!"

Asmodeus turned around to see his lost necklace. It was pink pearls with a gold diamond chain.

He completely forgot that Mc was dirty and hugged Mc as hard as he could.

"How did you find it? Oh, I've missed it so much!"

"Let's say I've had a little help. Plus I actually wanted to know if you've lost anything else?"

Short answer yes, yes he did.

So Asmodeus was in Mc's room which wasn't actually that bad looking. There weren't that many rats as he expected. While Mc was grabbing all the jewelry the rats have found in a month time.

Is honestly surprised that Mc didn't sell any of the items. A lot of it would have made him one of the richest humans in all three dimensions.

Asmodeus asked how he can repay him, with Ya know. Sex.

Mc shakes his head no but instead asks him what hair products he uses?

Asmodeus thinks he is about to get a new makeup friend when in reality Mc wants to clean some of his rat friends.

But it just ends up Mc and Asmodeus going to a spa, that is at human temperatures.

Even if Mc looks like a rat, he is kinda good looking without a shirt and his hair covering 95 percent of his eyes.

"Pretty boi", "Jewels", and "Pinky-pie" are nicknames he has used for Asmodeus.

Personally likes all of the nicknames.

Beelzebub:

Ratman eats.

A lot.

It's not just him that he's feeding, it's his army of rats.

So when Mc first eats with the demon brothers he eats a shit load for himself and then pulls out a basket to put cheese, bread, crackers, and a few veggies inside for his army.

Then walks into his room and just whistles.

The army comes flooding in his room to eat the food he has provided.

He leaves the room to go to the kitchen where he finds Beelzebub going through the fridge even though dinner was just served twenty minutes ago.

They actually begin to talk.

Beelzebub enjoys knowing that he has a eating partner(s).

They get onto the topic working out, school, food and eventually family.

Mc explains he doesn't have much of a family except for his rat family.

Beelzebub doesn't try to bring up Belphegor but Mc says this:

"I've actually read about the seven sins avatar once. And I'm just wondering, where's sloth? I can't remember his name but I know it starts with a 'b'." Mc turns to the rat on his shoulder.

"Belphegor? Oh yeah, that's it! Belphegor the avatar sin of sloth! Where is he?"

Beelzebub might just cry right then and there.

"I don't know." Mc's eyes soften at his answer.

Mc and Beelzebub talk about what happened. And become very close friends in the matter of days.

Beelzebub is glad to have someone to talk to about his guilt and the fight between Belphegor and Lucifer but-

There is one thing that he just doesn't- understand.

Mc fights for him. And he didn't understand it. Beelzebub once caught Mc fighting a demon in the hallway of the school. And he punched the demon square in the face.

He later figured out that the demon was talking trash about him and Mc overheard it and just attacked the student. Like a vicious animal.

After the fight, Mc is left a bleed nose and a smirk. Beelzebub is very scared and worried. But is calmed down once Mc hugs him.

"I'm not letting anyone talk trash about my family."

Is super happy for the rest if the week.

"Hungry boi", " Favorite cheese.", "Cutie pie".

Cutie pie kinda makes him freeze or drop whatever he has from shock. He likes it though.

Belphegor:

After the whole timeline killing thing, the rats don't trust Belphegor at all. They'll hiss and bit and poop in Belphegor's bed. And let me tell you when you have an army of rats pooping in someone's bed its like cow shit.

Mc probably forgives him completely but Belphegor is getting a different vibe with the rats.

Finally, speak up about it.

"Hey, Mc."

"Yesss?"

"Do you still hate me?"

"What."

Now Belphegor feels like a dumb ass for asking this.

"Do you still hate me because your rat friend-army is like attacking me? And it's making me feel terrible for Ya know, the..." Belphegor kinda just moves his hands around.

Mc sighs and whistles sharply. Belphegor flinches seeing the thousands of rats running in the room with most of their eyes on him.

"Alright! Who has been harassing Belphegor!? I told you guys not to hurt him. He's my friend. We just set on the wrong foot guys. Apologies now."

Fuck he didn't mean for Mc to do this. He has gotten afraid of the rats for the past two weeks and he's just waiting for the rats to turn their backs on Mc.

Like he did.

But to his surprise and relief, the rats run away but come back with an item.

It was ring.

They tower up towards Belphegor with the ring grabbing his left hand and placing it on his ring finger. It was a diamond ring.

"What." Mc stuttered realizing what they were doing.

"Guys I'm not forcing him to marry me to make up the whole killing thing, come one."

The rats didn't seem to care as they danced and made a shrill scream of the wedding music.

"So... We're married now?"

"In rat terms, yes."

He's not going to complain if he doesn't get attacked anymore and is expected to cuddled Mc.

Also, the ring looked very nice.

Nicknames are, "Sleepy boi" "Cowboy" and "My husband".

Mc meant it as a joke but realized Belphegor was blushing. So he decided to only say it when they were alone.

Solomon:

Thinks Mc is a wizard of some sort.

A rat wizard.

Solomon constantly tries to make Mc do a blood pact with him.

"Dude can't we just be friends like come on."

Is also okay with that.

They become potion buddies.

The rats help with getting items that humans can't get. Like herbs in the monster forest.

They might have accidentally made a love potion for Asmodeus but used the wrong hair.

It was a long week for Mc since Solomon taste-tested it.

Solomon was constantly trying to hold his hand, or hug him.

The few times Mc laughed at something in class while hold Solomon's hand, Solomon would be overcome with emotions to kiss the dirty rat-man.

One time he succeeded.

*Insert muffled ratman screaming*

After that interesting week, Solomon remembered everything and would scare Mc by hugging him or giving him the same half lid eyes while telling him he loved him.

The only man Mc has ever feared.

Nicknames Mc has given him, "Wizard boi" "Lover boi" and "White owl."

Solomon honestly likes White owl as an alias.

Simeon:

Rats like shiny things.

Simeon is very, very shiny.

Mc is very protective of Simeon.

Case closed.

But he knew the only way to really befriend Simeon was to befriend Luke. But without seeming like he was just trying to befriend him, Ya know?

So, Mc stood up for Luke when he was being teased for his height.

"Mammon you better shut up before I start sending my rats to take your jewelry and sell them."

You can bet that no one bullied Luke for his height again.

"You okay, Luke?" Luke denied that he even needed help but Mc knew that he just got on Luke's and Simeon's good side.

There is just times where Luke, Solomon, and Simeon talking while Mc is just listening when Mc would grab Simeon's hand and play with it.

Solomon would chuckle at the sight of the rat-man just playing with an angel's hand. While Simeon would be slightly confused.

Mc would have the most serious look on his face while he just tenderly touch Simeon's palms.

"Mc, what are you doing?"

"Shiny."

His hand wasn't even shiny but that's his response.

It would become a thing where Mc would friendly touch Simeon's hair or hand or cape.

And animalistic fight for him.

It took Simeon to look up if rats liked shiny thing and if they protect them.

And they do. In fact, they can hoard them and protect them with their life.

It was too late for Simeon. He had a cute dirty ratman king protecting him because he was shiny.

His nicknames would be, "Holy boi" "Lovely" or "Shiny".

Simeon did blush at the nickname lovely.

Luke:

Luke thought Mc was a sinful human based on looks. Dirty, hoarded shiny things, and was friends with the demons.

But he soon just realized that Mc wasn't a bad person, just a rat.

Luke became very interested in Mc's rat friends and secretly giving him sweet after he stood up to the demon brother about his height.

And much like Simeon, Mc found that Luke was very shiny too.

But soon Luke looked up at Mc like a dirty father-like figure. And Mc saw him as a son. Along with the rats.

"Shiny kid." Or "Angel boi" was the first nicknames he used.

Mc would let Luke pet the rats after a while.

Simeon, Mc, and Luke looked like a small family.

Mc would begin to call Luke, "Son" or "Kiddo".

Luke complained but would cheerfully tell Simeon about it.

Barbatos:

He probably fainted seeing Mc with rats on his shoulders.

Would avoid him at all costs.

But he would suddenly get along when Mc stated that there were mice in the palace.

"What?"

"Yeah, my rats just told me that they smell mice in here we can get them out if ya-"

"Please, that would be very appreciated."

In a minute the ten rats that Mc brought were biting the back of at least twenty mice's feet as the ran out of the open castle doors.

Everyone was in awe at how organized the rats were and more of the fact that Barbatos was being held by Mc.

They got along but Barbatos was very cautious around Mc. Until Mc had enough.

"Barbatos I love you, so I'm going to leave my rats outside when I come to the castle, I also will be well washed okay? I want to befriend you." Is the voicemail Barbatos got from an unknown number which he could tell was Mc.

Part two will be the rest of Barbatos and Lord Diavolo. Thank you!!!!

[wings-of-indigo]

So, Waitress is closing and Why I am Happy about that: An Exceedingly long essay Rant about Broadway

Look. Nobody's gonna read this, most likely, but it's 2 in the morning and my brain's been obsessing over Broadway (more than usual, anyway) since communing with my people at intensive this week. So, in the interest of getting some sleep before 8 hrs of dance and shitty high notes tomorrow, here goes.

I love classic, high-school-and-community standard musicals. I love new and experimental musicals. I love Disney film-to-stage musicals. I love institution musicals like Chorus Line, Cats, and Wicked; I even have a soft spot for Phantom. I am eagerly anticipating West Side Story next Christmas (seriously, I have a calander).

BUT.

As I said to one of my fellow dancers during post-class stretch (after noting his insane flexibilty and making yet another resolution to stretch more) I am Sick to GoDAMnEd DEATH of revivals, franchise adaptions, and restagings taking up the Broadway and greater theater markets.

I get why it's happening; I do. Musical theater, even shows that never make it out of Regional productions (Be More Chill, btw, I'm so proud of you bby :'-D ) are REALLY FREAKING EXPENSIVE, not just to stage, but also to develop. Broadway productions nowadays regularly go upwards of TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in costs.

Those costs are more and more frequently being met through funding by large groups of wealthy investors, who can expect basically little to no return on that investment. Only a select few shows that make it to the Great White Way do well enough to turn a profit (let alone the kinds of numbers that Hamilton, DEH, and Wicked continue to make), and more and more shows are closing in defict or once they break even. (Coincidentally, this is probably why we're seeing more and more straight plays on Broadway, especially in limited engagements. They're quicker, cheaper, and still have the same level of prestige.)

It makes sense then to assume that a show linked to an already successful property has a better chance of reaching that break-even mark, or perhaps generating a small return, than a more original idea. It's a surer bet, and we've seen it a lot these past few seasons. Anastasia, Beetlejuice, Pretty Woman, Moulin Rouge, Mean Girls... we get it. We promise. Investors want some security in an extremely and notoriously insecure market before they're willing to lay out the dough.

I get it. Everybody gets it.

And, to be fair, some of those shows are and continue to be GOOD. Tony nominees and award winners, even. But here's the problem: it's boring.

And not because I know how Act 2 ends without getting spoilers on tumblr. Unless they're younger than ten, the population of Broadway-and-musicals fans generally has a good handle on where a show's relevant plotlines are going. It's really not the wanting to know the end that keeps your butt in your overpriced red velvet seat and your eyes on the stage. It's the score, the words, occasionally the choreography, and most importantly the magicians on, off, and backstage bringing those things to life in a new and interesting way.

The antithesis of this, then, is having to watch slavish recreation of iconic scenes, lines, and characters from iconic films, presented Onstage! (TM), now with Bonus Songs! for your reconsumption. (Yes, Pretty Woman, I'm looking at you.)

Hey, I love Pretty Woman the Movie, slightly dodgy messages about feminity aside. I love it as a movie, and I really don't need to watch the knock off version of it, even if it comes in a shiny Broadway package.

Anastasia, and Beetlejuice, on the other hand, work extrodinarily well as musicals because they are NOT carbon copies of the original, somehow miraculously transplanted onto the stage.

Ironically, musicals based on original ideas are actually some of the most successful and well reviewed recent productions. Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Come From Away, and Hadestown this season are all original works, and well, look at them. (Fishy, huh? Coincidence, I think the fuck not.)

Recently I got to see The Prom on Broadway, the day after I saw Pretty Woman. The contrast between shows and my enjoyment of them was well defined. I couldn't look away from The Prom, despite many of the major story beats being as obvious as our Cheeto-in-Chief's spray tan. I and the entire rest of the theater were completely engaged by what was going on onstage, both comedically and dramatically. At Pretty Woman, I found myself checking the Playbill to see how many songs were left for me to make it through and anxiously comparing the size of my thighs to the dancers onstage to pass the time (ah, pre pro Body Issues, welcome back! We all thought you'd retired!)

Three guesses which show I'd choose to see again.

When I read that Waitress was closing, the first thing I did was panic and start marking pre January weekends where I would both be free and possibly have disposable income (I've never gotten to see the show, and frankly I would like too). My second reaction was, yes, to mourn the closure of a wonderful show, but it was mixed with hopeful anticipation. Waitress had a good long time in the sun, and just like a well lived life, eventually it must and should end. It's better, in my humble student opinion, to live with memories and cast albums (and regional productions) than the stodgy life of a show that's jealously clung to its Broadway berth through the tourist-and-date-night trade (*cough*Phantom*cough*). It's sort of like your 40 something mother taking selfies in booty shorts in an effort to prove she's still 'hip' and in her twenties. Cringe.

Ephemera is the nature of live performance, and probably part of its allure. And just like in the natural world, old things have to end so that new things can become. Waitress closing is a vital part of this cycle.

Broadway has a limited number of theaters. That's a hard and absolute fact. Maybe a quarter of them are effectively taken off the market for new shows by productions apparently cursed with immortality. Waitress has just opened up another spot both physically and creatively for a new project- hopefully something we haven't seen before- and I hope to God, Satan, and Sondheim that it doesn't get filled with another franchise spinoff, celebrity jukebox musical, or -Lin Miranda forbid - yet another revival.

Why the revival hate, though? Aren't revivals an major way to revisit the landmark and important musicals of the past and bring them to a new audience?

Well, yes. They are, especially when they're staged and presented with the emphasis on letting the music and words speak for themselves and giving the actors leeway to work with the material, without the typical levels of Broadway Extra (TM) and creative meddling from the producers. (The recent Lincoln Center staging of A Chorus Line is a good example of the stripped down style I'm talking about.) But even if they have their place, once again, revivals (while valuable and cool and all that) are Something We've Already Seen.

Let's take Newsies for example. A show with a huge fan base (mostly teen, mostly girls) who I frequently see wishing for a revival.

Now, I am a raging Newsies fan. Newsies is the show that got me started on attempting to make a profession out of dance and theater. I can sing both the OBC and Live albums back to front. I may or may not have had embarrassing crushes on certain cast and characters that I will take to my grave (I'll never tell and you'll never know, mwahhaha). So, do I love and worship ever iteration of this show? Yes. Do I wish I had been able to see either the Natl Tour or Broadway productions? Hell yes, with all my heart. Do I wish the Gatelli choreography was in any way accessible for me to learn? More than I want Broadway tickets to cost less than my soul, kidney, and hypothetical but unlikely first born combined.

But do I want a Broadway revival? Hell FUCKING No.

It's over, it's done, and it lives on in reinterpretation in regional and junior productions. Good. That, to be quite honest, is where it should belong.

It doesn't need to be rehashed on the biggest stages, and to be frank, neither do most of the ultra popular revivals that have been happening. (Yes, Ali Stoker is awesome and deserves the world, but Broadway does not need Oklahoma. If you need to see it that bad, go find a high school production somewhere. I recommend the midwest.) Broadway does not need 1776 (even though I am looking forward to it). Broadway does not need a Sweeney Todd revival (even though I want one like I want ice cream after suffering through jazz class in an un-air-conditioned studio on a 90 degree afternoon with no breeze. Seriously, I might be making sacrifices at my altar to this cause in the back of my closet).

Broadway needs musicals that are at least nominally original, and if not, come from something obscure enough (Kinky Boots, Waitress, Newsies) that they can make their own way. Barring that, investors, writers, and directors, please have the courage and decency to take established content in a new direction. Please, I'm begging you. I'd honestly-and-truly much rather sit through something that didn't try to shove the better version of itself down my throat even as it bored and annoyed me to tears. If I'm going to pay $80+ to sit through two hours of something terrible (and less engaging than my dancer body image issues) at least let me get my money's worth in unique horribleness.

[glenncoco4]

Time to Play

A/N: Chapter 4 of What Happens Next?

XXXX

They just left dinner with her parents and are finishing up the night with a walk along the pier. There’s a slight chill in the air which is surprising for July night in LA. Her arms are wrapped around his waist and one of his is thrown over her shoulders. 

Once they reach the end, Kensi rests her head against his shoulder. The pair looks over at a group of surfers as they ride the evening waves of the Pacific. 

Marty brings his lips to the crown of her head, inhaling the scent that is so uniquely her. His wife in his arms and the ocean breeze bouncing off the ocean brings a content smile to the lawyer’s face. “I love you, wife.”

“I love you, husband.”

After a few minutes of watching everything going on around them, a light bulb goes off in Marty’s head. He pulls away from her and grabs hold of her hand, leading them back down the pier.

She’s pulled through a small crowd, taking a few sharp turns here and there wondering what on earth her husband has up his sleeve. A few more steps and they come to an abrupt stop, she looks up and discovers why. 

Once they reach the entrance of the Ferris Wheel, the blonde looks over at his wife and is met with a radiant smile. He knew about her love for the attraction and made it a point to find one in whatever city they were in, would take her to it and they would take relaxing rides over and over again. 

Somehow they got lucky enough to catch it without a line so they make their way up the ramp to the ride. Kensi sits down in the capsule, her husband on the other hand stops to give the operator a handshake and whispers something in his ear before joining her.

“What was that about?”

“You’ll see.”

The wheel stops once they reach the very top and its breathtaking to say the least. Sun setting, cotton candy skies and her snuggled up with the man who makes everything better. “So I kinda have a present for you.”

“For me? But, baby, it’s your birthday.”

She reaches over his waist and grabs his hand that’s furthest away from her. “It’s a present for me, too.”

Marty’s brow furrows in confusion as he watches her take his left hand and pull it across his body. He’s obviously lost because they were talking about presents and now she has his calloused palm resting against her stomach. 

Her eyes bore into his, hoping that he understands what she’s saying without actually say it. Marty shrugs at his inability to put two and two together. He’s a lawyer for god sakes, he should be able to get this. 

Huffing a sigh of annoyance, Kensi realizes that she’ll have to spell it out for her unsuspecting love. “Baby, meet baby.”

“Ba-baby? As in-“

The sheen of tears that are held in his wife’s beautiful eyes tells him his answer. His face turns from shock to awe to pure elation when he realizes that there’s a baby growing just under where is palm lays. Their baby. He attempts to jump up but is thankfully stopped by the cross bar, earning a laugh from the brunette. 

She laughs as he excitedly presses his lips against hers, but with the grins plastered to both of their faces it’s more teeth than lips which makes them laugh even harder. Marty brings his hand up to her face, cupping her jaw as he places his forehead against hers. He basks in the moment of serenity, holding his hold world in the palm of his hand. “A baby.”

Tears run down her cheek as she sees the pure unadulterated love shine in his eyes. They’re really doing this. They’re having a baby. “A baby.”

XXXX

“Kens, are you-“ The brunette pauses as her partner bends over and expels the contents of her stomach onto the grassy patch next to them. 

She wipes her mouth with the handkerchief that she now keeps in her pocket for this specific reason. After cleaning her face off, the mother to be turns towards her partner with a small smile. 

“Do you know who the father is?”

“That’s the thing-“

Talia cuts her off before she even hears her answer. “So you don’t know.”

Shaking her head, Kensi huffs a laugh at how inaccurate that statement truly is. “I do. Believe me I do, but I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

“Okayyy.”

“You see, I-I’m married.”

The brunette’s in the middle of taking a sip of water when her eyes go wide in shock, doing a spit take at her friend’s words. “You’re, what?”

A wry smile spreads to her face at how caught off guard her partner is. Damn, I am a good actor. “Yeah, that single, party girl stuff, that’s not me.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“How long?”

“A little over a year now.”

“But what about that guy?”

It’s Kensi’s turn to be confused.

Seeing the confusion displayed on her face, Talia realizes that she’s gonna have to remind her of their night out. Damn, guy must not be that memorable. “The guy you met at the bar last month when we went out. I mean you two were all over each other before the night was over and I for sure saw you get in a cab and go home with him.”

“I did go home with him.”

“Does your husband know?”

“He does.”

“How did he take it?”

“He was deliriously happy.”

“What?”

“He’s always wanted to be a dad and we’ve always wanted to have a family.”

The agent shakes her head at her coworker’s ability to deflect. At least she thinks that’s what she’s doing. “That’s great, sweetie, but I’m talking about the news about going home with that guy.”

“Oh, yeah, he took that pretty great, too.”

“He what now?”

“Talia, that guy was my husband Marty.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“So why the secrecy?”

Kensi sighs. I guess it’s finally time to let the cat out of the bag. “Both our jobs can be quite dangerous so we decided to keep our marriage on a need to know basest at work.”

“But why at the bar?”

A lewd grins spreads to the soon to be mother’s face, remembering that one night a few weeks ago. “Hey, just because I’m married doesn’t mean I don’t like a little role play.”

Some night a few weeks ago

They’re sitting on the couch, watching meaningless tv as she reads an incoming text. “Hey, do you feel like going out tonight?”

He turns towards his love with a smile. “Sure. Where does my lady want to go?”

“Well, Talia actually invited me out.”

“I thought we were keeping our marriage on the down low.”

“We are.”

His eyes quirk when he realizes where this might be going. “Kensi Deeks, what do you have going on in that beautiful brain of yours?”

“We’re going to a bar.”

“Yeah.” He brings his lips to her ear, whispering while he nibbles at her skin.

“I could wear a tight little dress.”

“God, yes.” He throws his leg over her waist, now straddling her hips.

She moans when his hardness presses against her stomach. “You could come in wearing your skinny jeans and that tight black v-neck that I love so much.”

“Oh?”

“Mmmmhmmm.”

“How will we keep our hands off of each other?”

“Talia thinks I have a bit of a wild side so she’ll see us meet and think nothing of it when you take me out onto the dance floor and dance with me.”

“And what dance would that be?”

“The horizontal tango of sorts.”

“Damn, I love your dirty mind.”

She runs her fingers through his golden locks as his lips continue their ministrations against her neck. “It loves you, too.”

….

They’re sitting at the bar, watching the dance floor as everyone lets their inhibitions flow. Neither of them have enough beers in them to get in on the action yet. Talia looks across the room and pauses at the sight of a man eye fucking her partner. 

He doesn’t give off a creepy vibe but something about the gleam in his eyes perplexes her and then he starts walking towards them. “Hot blonde coming up behind you.”

Kensi’s eyes pinch at her partner’s words, trying to play off the fact that she could feel him undressing her with his eyes from across the room. She feels the look most of the time she’s around him unless she’s already undressed that is. The brunette’s lost in thought as their hot naked bodies pressed against each other plays out in her mind and then she hears his voice. 

“Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?” She turns and is met with the mesmerizing cerulean blues that are the frequent star of her dreams. 

“When you fell from heaven.”

She tilts her head to the side, the glint in her eye telling him that he better buckle up. “Did you just call me Satan?”

“Wha-what? No! No, I just-I” He starts to ramble, unsure of how he’ll get himself out of this, but on the inside, oh on the inside his heart does a million somersaults at her quick little retort and the laugh that follows.

She laughs at his uncomfortableness, she really loves it when she catches him off guard. He plays along perfectly and gives her an uneasy smile. Gesturing towards the empty chair next to hers, he asks to join her. 

“Hi, I’m Marty.”

She takes his hand and the spark as they come skin to skin runs throughout her body. “Kensi.”

“Kensi. Strong name.”

“Thank, I kinda came with it.”

“Well, it suits you.”

20 minutes later they’re out on the dance floor grinding on one another. Talia watches from across the room and if it weren’t for the time difference she would start to wonder if they were extras in Dirty Dancing.

His hands find her hips as she presses her ass against him. He can’t control himself against her advances and quickly spins her around, crashing his lips against hers. Their tongues begin to duel, the base in the music only urges them to continue their onslaught of passion. 

Meanwhile across the bar, Talia’s mouth is agape in shock at how forward her partner truly is. She’s only known Kensi for a few months but she never suspected her to be this forward. 

They finally part when air becomes a necessity, he brings his forehead to hers as they continue to dance up against each other. 

Kensi sees that his eyes have grown dark as time passes and really wants to get him home. They’ve had their fun, but now she really wants to have some fun. Standing on her tip toes, she brings her lips to his ear, her voice low and seductive. “How about we go have some real fun?” She nips at his earlobe, earning a growl from him. 

He brings his lips to hers once again in a more feverish kiss and playfully nips at her bottom lip before she’s dragging him back over to the bar.

“Hey, I don’t mean to ditch you but-“

Talia waves her off, not the least bit offended. She does however decide to call it a night herself and walks out with the “new” couple. 

Kensi hops in the cab with Marty following in after her. She turns to look out the back window and sends her partner a wink.

When cab driver pull up into the driveway, Kensi decides it might be a little fun to continue this little game. “Oh, your house is so beautiful. Does it have a jacuzzi tub?” 

“Why yes it does. I may even have a few candles and some bubbles as well.”

“Wow, you’re kinda romantic.”

“My wife doesn’t seem to mind it.”

Kensi smiles, bringing her lips to his.“She doesn’t mind it. She doesn’t it one bit.”

There’s suddenly a clearing of a throat and…“Look, could you two take this outside. I need to get back to work.”

They pull back from their kiss and try to stifle their laughter as Marty hands the cabbie some bills and pulls his wife out of the car. 

She takes off her heels, catching him off guard as she starts to run up the path and towards the front door. She looks over her shoulder at him and shouts. “Last one naked has to eat chocolate off the other!”

The million watt smile that spreads to his face is just a glimpse of how she makes him feel everyday. He takes off running and quickly catches up to her in the foyer. Slamming the door closed, they begin to shed their clothes and the second part of their night finally begins.

Talia throws her arm over her partner’s shoulder, letting out a humorous laugh. “I didn’t think you were a prude or anything but dear god, Kinky Kensi is very accurate.”

A blush rises to her cheeks at her friend’s incredibly precise depiction of her life with her husband. What can she say other than, she loves her man and his body. 

[books-and-catears]

Old Flames and New Faces (Part 2)

Tagging as requested: @greenlit-mess @satans-favorit3 @beelsmeal @tanspostsblog @wafermelons @percythebitchwitch

<- Chap 1 || Chap 3 ->

As the days passed by, you went over to HOL less and less. It started out small, barely noticeable.

Like an occasionally forgotten movie night or anime marathon or a post poned trip to the mall or cat cafe.

"Levi, I'm here! Let's go try out that new game you texted me about!" You said, barging into his room.

"MC how many times have I told you to knock?! And password! Lily has learnt it in two weeks and yet you refuse to comply!" Levi grumbled. "And sorry... But Lily and I already stayed up finishing it."

"Satan did you get that book I asked for, from the public library?" You approached Satan in the common room.

"Oh that one. Sorry MC." He said, sheepishly, "I brought it but Lily asked for it and I ended up giving it to her. I'll ask her to give it you right after she's done!"

"Nice bracelet, Asmo." You told him as you bumped into him near his room. "Butterflies are your new aesthetic?"

"Lily picked these! We got matching ones from the mall!" Asmo gushed, "Sorry we didn't get you one MC...they were being sold in pairs."

You'd feel bad about it as you walked back to your new home. An emptiness slowly settling in your heart. But not for long. Healing came faster than expected.

"Oh that game?! We just got it yesterday, let's play it together MC! Simeon...uh you should just watch, you made a mess of the controller last time." Luke piped as he dragged you over to the game room.

"Were you perhaps looking for this book, MC? Yes I borrowed it after you suggested it. You still haven't read it? That's splendid, we can read it together." Simeon smiled as he patted the place next to him.

"MC, do you mind wearing anklets? I recently designed one with a charm matching my necklace. I want to give it to you, if you'd like it." Solomon knelt to tie it around your ankle.

But then things got a little more tense. And you felt your insignificance grow. Maybe they meant it maybe they didn't - but some things had started to sting. And somehow the angels and the sorcerer came to help.

"Hello Beel, here I am!" You walked in cheerily in the kitchen. "I've come here to make my signature choco fudge and ice cream for everyone, as promised."

Beel shifted uncomfortably in his place, his eyes turned towards the floor. "Actually MC, Lily just baked some chocolate and hazelnut tarts for us. And they were big too - I don't think we can fit another dessert. Not even me. Maybe tomorrow MC?"

"MC please come home quick! Solomon was going to make a chocolate oyster dessert but we stopped by saying you're going to make something already! Won't you come and make those fudges for us again!?" Luke cried over the phone in emergency.

"Mammon that's a lot of cash. Are you going to gamble all of that? Come on now you promised not-" You started to scold him but he shook his head.

"Lily gave this to me as a gift and said I could use them however I want! So I don't need to listen to you on this anymore MC, haha!" He said before dashing out the door.

"Ah he's out gambling again you say, don't worry I can help." Solomon answered your call, "Yes I did in fact just shut down the main electricity source of the big casinos. What do you mean I started a riot?"

"Belphie, I'm too tired to go back, can I come cuddle?" You said sheepishly as you sneak into his room. You see another body curled up next to him.

He turns towards and points at Lily sleeping peacefully, being curled up against him. He shakes his head as if to say, "Sorry no more space for you."

"You called for me Lucifer? Haha honestly it's been so long since one of you called for me, I don't even mind if it's just to scold me." You smile at him as you stand in his study.

"Well then you know exactly why I've called you." Lucifer's voice was low and deadly, "What is with your recent pop quiz scores? You haven't scored this low ever."

"I know I'm sorry," You tried to defend, "It happened in the middle of moving, so I didn't get enough time. And Satan's been a bit busy teaching Lily, so I couldn't go to him for my usual revision and-"

"You can't just rely on Satan to teach you all the time. Lily needs more help than you after all. It maybe not because she somehow scored the highest in Devildom history. Which may I remind you is your weakest?" Lucifer scolded further.

"I am bad at memorizing. Sorry Lucifer I'll try to do better..." You say. He merely grunts and nods. "It's late, go back to the hall. You remember your protection spells yes?"

"Yes. Yes absolutely." You learned them by heart. Usually the brothers accompanied you from RAD to the house but now you were used to going place to place alone. You had to be hyper aware now. Although Solomon's anklet helped ward off the smaller demons anyway.

"Welcome home, MC" Simeon stood near the door waiting. "Next time just let me come get you please." He ushered you in.

"Thank you Simeon. It's nice to know someone still cares haha." You smile for the first time all day.

"Is it just me, or have the brothers started acting strange ever since Lily joined us?" Simeon wondered.

"They just really like her. Besides you know how children often toss their old toys aside for shiny new ones - something like that perhaps." You laugh on the brink of tears.

Simeon cups your face and pulls you into his arms. It was a whole other feeling of comfort. "An angel's embrace is no joke." You murmur into his chest.

He laughs and holds you closer. "Spend the night with me. You have been holding too much in. You need to lighten that heart of yours."

[dontenchantme]

sanguine

Rated M, Asmo x MC, some Satan x MC - sexual scenes.

[vampire au] he had the prettiest eyes she had ever seen. sometimes they were a rosy orange, just like the sunset. at other times they were red. bright red, like the colour of blood.

fics masterlist

She was given two warnings to heed when she first started living in this mansion.

Number one – do not fall in love with any of the residents. She could do that. She wasn’t here to find love, after all. She just needed a roof over her head.

Then there was number two – do not get too close to the one named Asmodeus.

It didn’t take long for her to figure out why. Asmodeus was a charmer, playful and flirtatious, and she could never quite tell when he was being serious and when he was just complimenting her to be polite. Talking to him confused her sometimes.

She knocked on his door, and as she waited for him to respond, she tried to steel her nerves, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. It had been a few months since she started living here, and she ought to have gotten used to this by now.

But then Asmodeus opened the door, his eyes half-lidded and his light caramel hair artfully tousled, and she had to keep her gaze away from the bare skin he displayed so gratuitously, her face warming as she tried to remember what she was here for.

The laundry. Yes. “Today’s laundry day,” she reminded him. Asmodeus yawned and opened the door wider, revealing his torso – her gaze followed the long, lean lines of his narrow waist and she shook her head a little, thankful that Asmodeus seemed too tired to notice her embarrassment. She didn’t want him to start teasing her.

“Come in then,” he drawled, stepping aside so she could enter his room. The small woven basket in which he kept his used clothes was practically overflowing.

“How do you have so many shirts?” she grumbled, walking over to the basket – she was very much conscious of his gaze lingering on her, and the back of her neck prickled. “It’s ridiculous. Do they even all fit in your wardrobe?”

“Well, they do if you know how to pack them properly.” Asmodeus grinned. “I’m rather good at squeezing things into tight spaces…if I say so myself.”

His playful tone made her think of things that sent blood rushing up to her cheeks, and she had to hide her face as she picked up the basket, hoping he wouldn’t see how flustered she was. “You should put a shirt on, or you might catch a cold.”

“A cold?” There was amusement in his voice. “How sweet of you to worry about me, little lamb. But I’m hardier than I look.” She heard him yawn and she glanced up at him then, confident that her blush had receded by now.

“What time did you sleep?” She guessed he didn’t come back until the early hours of the morning. Asmodeus was hardly ever home at night – he’d rather head down to the pubs and get his dinner ‘straight from the source’, or so he called it.

She shuddered at the thought. Though she had grown used to living among them, that didn’t mean she ever forgot how dangerous these men were. A memory of the emergency rations they kept in the kitchen floated through her mind, clear crystal bottles filled with a rich, viscous red that was almost like red wine, but not quite.

“I don’t know. Is it important?” He shrugged, then gave her a wicked smile, the kind of smile that had other women fawning all over him whenever he went out in public. “Are you concerned about me, darling? Because nothing would please me more.”

“You think too highly of yourself, Asmodeus.” She made to leave his room, having retrieved what she came for, but then he moved, too quickly for the human eye to follow, and suddenly he was right in front of her, his hand reaching for her face.

She gasped, instinctively taking a step back, but then his fingers rested gently on her cheek and she stilled, abruptly forgetting how to breathe. Her entire body was tense. “You like to run away from me, don’t you?” he whispered, studying her – his eyes seemed to flicker between orange and crimson, and she was so mesmerised by them that she almost didn't realise he had asked her a question.

“Why would you think that?” The second warning floated through her mind and she flinched – Asmodeus, observant as always, narrowed his eyes and leant closer. She couldn’t help but think about how nice he smelled, even though he just woke up. A trace of cologne mixed with something sweet, something distinctly Asmodeus. Her eyelids fluttered as his thumb traced a slow, delicate circle over her cheek.

His bare skin was smooth and flawless and tantalisingly close. Her fingers twitched. “You don’t even look me in the eye sometimes, you know.” He was so near her that she could feel his breath ghosting over her ear, and she shuddered. Her hands were still clutching tightly onto the basket. “Are you frightened of me, little lamb?”

A little. But she was more intrigued than afraid. She just knew better than to let him get too close – she didn’t want to become another one of his conquests. And with that thought, she managed to snap herself out of her trance, ducking away from him as she shifted the basket to her side, putting some extra distance between them.

“I have chores to finish. We can talk another time, Asmodeus,” she said, trying to keep her tone neutral. She expected him to tease her about her sudden reticence, and she was prepared to come up with some kind of rebuttal, but instead, he just sighed and stepped away from her, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Have a wonderful day, darling. Don’t let Barbatos wear you out too much.” For a moment she thought she saw his eyes darken, but then he smiled, and she figured she had to be imagining things. “He works you to the bone, doesn’t he?”

“He’s not that bad.” She laughed, relieved that he didn’t say anything to fluster her again. “I’ll see you at dinner. And please, stop throwing out so much laundry each week! Washing your clothes takes a lot of time, you know,” she scolded.

He had a penchant for silks and soft fabrics with the most delicate detailing and she always had to be careful with them, afraid that she would accidentally rip the fragile material. “I like it when you wash my clothes, though. My clothes always smell like you when you bring them back to me.” His lips curved into a smile.

She took back what she thought about him not flustering her. “Don’t try to use that as an excuse!” She narrowed her eyes at him, then turned away and strode out of his room, ignoring the peals of laughter that floated after her.

She busied herself with her chores for the rest of the day, finally able to take a break right before dinner – Barbatos said he’d prepare the meal for tonight, so she was in the common room now, watching Lucifer and Satan play chess.

It was always interesting to watch the two brothers play. Both were equally skilled, though they had differing strategies – Lucifer favoured waiting and watching, and he usually took on a more defensive style of playing, while Satan was undeniably aggressive, even when it was his turn to play black. She didn’t have a great head for chess, but she knew that it was far more likely for the black side to lose simply because they didn’t have the privilege of making the first move.

But she liked to watch Satan think of ways to overcome that disadvantage. Every time he played against Lucifer, he would choose the black side, and she wondered if it was because he enjoyed challenging himself, or if there was some deeper reason guiding his decision. “Checkmate,” Satan announced, moving his knight.

Lucifer sighed. “Very well. You win this round. Though I will win tomorrow.” He glanced at her. “What does this bring our score to?”

“Thirty-thirty-one,” she answered. Throughout their regular chess matches, she had somehow assumed the position of their scorekeeper, and that was a role she took seriously. “Satan is currently in the lead.”

Satan gave his older brother a triumphant grin. “See? I told you it’s better to play offensively. Taking a defensive approach only serves to extend your suffering.”

“You only won one game more than I did. And rest assured, tomorrow will mark the start of your losing streak,” Lucifer answered. “Anyway. This has been delightful, but I have to speak with Diavolo about something, so I’ll leave you two to clean up.”

“You’re always talking to Diavolo.” Satan tilted his head, and there was a strangely malicious look in his eyes. “One would think you two are more than just…friends.”

“I have no need to answer to your curiosity,” Lucifer replied. His red gaze was cool. “Besides, you have better things to amuse yourself with than my affairs, Satan.”

It was a subtle warning for the fourth-born to stop questioning; she half-expected him to ignore Lucifer, but instead, Satan glanced at her and shrugged. “Whatever you say,” he hummed, and with a quick word of farewell, Lucifer walked out of the common room. Satan sighed and relaxed into his chair, stretching gracefully – she couldn’t help but be reminded of a cat. “Why are you still standing around?”

She jumped. “Oh. Sorry.” She hesitated, unsure of what he wanted her to do.

He chuckled. “Don’t apologise. Talk to me for a while. I’ve some time until I have to go out.” His gaze lingered on her, and she swallowed as she settled on the seat Lucifer had vacated, suddenly aware of just how intense his green eyes were.

“Where are you going?” she asked, trying to distract herself.

Satan exhaled. “Meeting Mammon. He said he needed a little help in town. Likely some scheme to trick yet another wealthy noblewoman into parting with her money, but anyone foolish enough to trust Mammon deserves what they get.”

Mammon. The second-oldest brother. She hardly ever saw him – he stayed out of the mansion most of the time, preferring to linger in the town’s illegal gambling dens, though he seemed friendly enough. “I didn’t know you two were close.”

“Close? Not really. But someone needs to keep an eye on him. We can’t have an angry mob running him out of town now, can we?” There was something charming about the roguish smile on his face. “Do you like to play chess?”

“I like watching you and Lucifer play. But I’m not fantastic at it,” she confessed. She knew the rules, and she had played a few games before with some of the residents, but she had never won. “You’d probably get bored if you play against me.”

“Hm. How bad could you possibly be?” He leant a little closer, and she felt trapped by those green eyes, unable to tear her gaze away from him. “I’m quite interested now. Why don’t we play one round? Whoever wins will get a favour from the loser.”

“That’s not fair. I’d lose for sure.” There was no chance at all that she’d come close to beating him in chess. She’d be surprised if the game lasted even ten minutes.

Something flickered in his eyes, an emotion she was unable to identify. “Well, I wouldn’t want to be accused of bullying a lady. How about this? You get two moves every turn while I get one. That should give you a distinct advantage, shouldn’t it?”

She hesitated. Even then, she wasn’t sure if she stood a fighting chance, but he was looking expectantly at her and she found it difficult to say no. What was the worst that could happen? At most he might ask her to bring dinner up to his room for a month or something. “Fine. If I beat you then you will owe me a favour, right?”

Satan nodded. “And vice-versa. But don’t worry, even if I win, I wouldn’t make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

He seemed trustworthy. She didn’t doubt his words, though it was somewhat discouraging to hear him talk as if he had already won. They began to play – he allowed her to make the first move, but even then, it wasn’t long before he turned the tables on her. It seemed like not even fifteen minutes had passed before he declared checkmate and she collapsed back into her chair, soundly defeated.

“I should have known better than to play against you, even with a handicap,” she huffed, eyeing Satan as he gave her a satisfied grin, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “That was outright bullying. Our skill levels are simply too different.”

“You agreed to the game with all its conditions.” His smile faded, being replaced by something more thoughtful. “And I already know what I’d like you to do.”

His favour. She wondered what he wanted from her. Satan didn’t say anything for a while, and as the silence stretched on, she began to feel uncomfortable, fidgeting a little in her seat. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Come here,” he invited.

She wasn’t sure what he had planned, but she approached him anyway. At first, she made sure there was a respectable distance between them, yet still, he beckoned her closer. When she was finally near enough, he grabbed her wrist and drew her to him, a little gasp of surprise escaping her mouth as she stumbled into his armchair.

He caught her before she fell onto his lap, one hand holding her up by the waist, his other still wrapped around her wrist. Her breath froze as she realised that she was right above him – his face was tilted upwards, his gaze fixed intently on her. “You’re so naïve sometimes,” he whispered, “but I think that’s what I find the most interesting about you. How you can continue to waltz around this place, completely unaware of how much danger you’re in.” His hand left her wrist, reaching up to her cheek.

His fingers lingered close to her, but he didn’t touch, and she tensed at just how close he was – her heart was hammering in her chest, and she found it difficult to focus on his words. “Diavolo promised that I’d be safe here,” she breathed.

“There’s only so much protection Diavolo can offer,” he replied. His fingers drifted down, hovering near her chin now. Still, he didn’t touch her. “The thing about our kind is that when we desire something, we become almost impossible to reason with.”

“And is there something you desire?” she asked – the words slipped out naturally, though her mind was racing, maybe from panic or nervousness or something else entirely. At her question, he tugged lightly on her waist and she fell forward onto him, settling comfortably on his lap. Her first instinct was to leap right off, but his grip on her tightened and she found she was unable to move.

“Of course. We all desire one thing above anything else.” He touched her chin then and she jerked, startled by how delicate his touch was – he tipped her head back, forcing her to bare her throat, and she stiffened, wondering if he was about to bite.

Should she scream? She wanted to – she had half a mind to. But he shushed her, almost as though he could read her mind. “Let’s not make too much noise now.” His voice was a murmur, alluring, enticing. “You owe me a favour, don’t you?”

“And this is what you want? My blood?” She had intended for her words to sound accusatory, but they lacked any real heat, and she saw his lips curve up – there was the barest hint of fang in that smile, and a shiver ran down her spine. “You said you wouldn’t ask for anything that made me feel uncomfortable!” she protested.

He nodded. “I did. But do you want me to stop?” he asked, and he sounded genuinely curious – she wanted to say yes, she wanted to tell him to stop and let her go right now, but when she opened her mouth to speak, her voice failed her.

He lowered his head and pressed his lips against the hollow of her throat, and she moaned, twitching when she felt the tips of his fangs press softly into her skin. “I’m not going to bite unless you say I can,” he told her. It was difficult not to reach up and run her fingers through his silky golden hair, to just let herself sink into the temptation he offered. It’ll feel good, his eyes seemed to tell her. There will be no pain. And she wanted to believe him.

His lips trailed down from her neck to her shoulder, one of his hands tugging at the collar of her shirt, exposing her skin to the cool air. She felt vulnerable like this, but there was no urge to push him away – her head lolled back, and she exhaled. “Why do you want my blood?” she asked, her voice the softest of murmurs.

“Do you know how sweet you smell?” Satan sounded almost plaintive. “All these times you lingered, watching me and Lucifer – it’s so difficult to concentrate when you’re standing there, looking so innocent…and so distracted.” His finger traced a line down her throat, and she had to bite her lip so that she wouldn’t cry out. “You’re a precious little lamb hiding in a den full of wolves. Shouldn’t you be more careful?”

Little lamb. The two words pierced right through her and suddenly she remembered a lazy smile and light orange eyes, eyes that sometimes looked almost the colour of blood – she nearly fell out of Satan’s lap in shock, thankfully catching her balance before she collapsed onto the floor. He stared at her, surprise in his green eyes, but she couldn’t focus on him now. The skin where his lips, his fangs had touched was burning hot, but she ran out of the common room, heading up the stairs.

She didn’t know why. She just had a sudden awful feeling, like something was sinking in the pit of her stomach. She went to Asmodeus’ room and tried the door, grateful when it opened without any difficulty. “Asmodeus?” she called.

The room was empty. She glanced around, wondering where he was – she was certain that he hadn’t left the mansion – but then suddenly the door shifted and she felt a lean arm wrap around her waist, keeping her still. Slender fingers touched her chin and tipped her head sideways. “Why are you here?” he breathed.

His voice was strained. She had never heard him sounding this way before. “I got the feeling that something was wrong,” she answered, and his grip on her tightened in response. “I thought I’d better come and check on you, just in case.”

“You have quite an uncanny sixth sense, don’t you, little lamb?” he rasped, and she felt his breath against her ear, making her shiver. “Did you know? Vampires are very possessive creatures. Territorial, even.” He paused. “You smell just like Satan.”

“Are you all right?” She tried to turn to look at him, but his grip on her was firm and she was practically immobile. Asmodeus didn’t say anything for a moment, though he leant back against his door, slowly closing it. It clicked shut with a solemn finality.

Maybe she ought to be more afraid. He wasn’t his usual self, and Asmodeus was, at the end of the day, a vampire – but she didn’t fear him. This mansion was the home of several dangerous men, but he had never once made her feel unsafe. Granted, his casual flirting and his teasing smiles confused her sometimes, but he had never tried to attack her, never once even hinted that he was interested in feeding on her.

“I’m not all right,” he finally said, his voice low. “I don’t like knowing that one of my brothers tried to bite you. I don’t like knowing just how ready you were to give in.”

“How did you know…?” Her head was pressed to his chest, and she could hear his heart. It was beating fast, so fast that she was a little concerned. This wasn’t normal.

“I needed some air. When I went down the stairs, I happened to hear everything that was going on in the common room. Neither of you was particularly subtle, you know.” His grip on her slackened, but she didn’t try to step away, uncertain about how he might respond. “Weren’t you about to let him sink his fangs into your pretty neck?”

“No, I wasn’t.” At least she didn’t think she would have. She slowly turned her head, looking up at him, and noticed with a jolt that his eyes were now a bright, vivid ruby, the same shade of red as Lucifer’s. “But would you have minded if I was?”

His eyes widened for a second, then he gave her that familiar breezy smile, laughing gently, letting go of her – she would have believed everything was fine if she didn’t notice his fingers clenched into fists at his sides. “No, I wouldn’t have. Feel free to offer your blood to anyone in this mansion, darling.” His smile was beginning to look forced. “Though I would tell you to be careful. I recall losing too much blood can be fatal for humans.”

“Do you want my blood then, Asmodeus?” He paused, glancing away from her, his eyelids lowering – his eyelashes were long and thick, and she was a little envious of just how pretty he was. “Because you’ve been behaving strangely ever since I came to your room. It’s almost as if you don’t like the thought of me being with Satan.”

Under normal circumstances, Asmodeus would have laughed it off and told her to have a good time. That was simply the kind of person he was. He glanced up at her then and she noticed that he looked almost upset. “Am I supposed to be happy for you?” he asked. “Do you want me to laugh and smile, and pretend that everything is fine? I can do that if you want me to. If that would make you more comfortable.”

She paused for a moment, just staring at him. Finally, she sighed. “What’s wrong?” she asked, a corner of her mind surprised at the way this conversation was going. He was the last person she thought she would ever have to press for an answer.

Asmodeus was so carefree and easy-going most of the time. Compared to the rest, he was practically an open book. Or so she thought. “Nothing,” he muttered. “I’m just…a little tired. You should go and enjoy yourself. Do something fun for once.”

Was he chasing her out? Something was definitely wrong. “No, I’m not leaving this spot until you tell me what’s going on,” she retorted. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was so insistent on being told the truth – all she knew was that Asmodeus wasn’t his usual self and she was concerned about him. He refused to look at her, his lips pressed stubbornly together, and she looked around, wondering how she could make him talk.

Her gaze landed on a letter opener he had left on his desk, and a sudden idea came to mind. She didn’t stop to think about whether it was a good idea or not – she just picked up the tool and studied its sharp edge. She could feel Asmodeus staring at her. She glanced at him, and he seemed transfixed by the tiny blade in her hand.

She drew a deep breath and raised the letter opener. His warning shout came too late, and she cut her open palm with the blade, the sudden pain making her gasp. The letter opener fell to the floor with a clatter, and she looked up from the wound – Asmodeus was still watching her, something almost like anguish in his eyes.

The cut wasn’t deep. But when she clenched her fingers, the thin line of crimson wept, bright red trickling down her wrist. “Asmodeus,” she said. “Look at me.”

For a moment she wondered if he even heard her, but then his gaze flicked up to her and she stretched her hand out, offering it to him. “You can drink if you want,” she told him, wondering if he’d take up her offer, wondering if he’d –

Asmodeus grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards him. But he didn’t do anything else, just staring at the bloodied hand in his grasp, his chest heaving. “What were you thinking, darling?” he asked, his voice husky. “You don’t tease a vampire like this. There are other ways to attract my attention. Safer ways.”

“I want you to bite me.” When she said those words, she realised that they were true – that no matter how good Satan made her feel, Asmodeus constantly lingered in the back of her mind, his smile and his silky hair and his uniquely sweet scent drawing her attention away. If she was going to be bitten by anyone, if she were to find out first-hand just how good a vampire’s bite was, then she wanted it to be him.

Infuriating, gorgeous Asmodeus who laughed with the careless abandon of a man who owned everything in the world. A man who knew just how handsome he was and who could choose to amuse himself with anyone he wanted. A man that most women could only dream of, who now stared at her with a look of indescribable hunger on his face. She wondered how long it had been since he last spent the night with someone.

“Are you sure, little lamb?” he whispered. “If you offer me something so precious, there’s no turning back. I’m not the kind who likes to share.”

She nodded. She didn’t just offer her blood to anyone, either. Her heart and her mind were ensnared by thoughts of this man – when was the last time a day went past without her thinking about Asmodeus? She couldn’t remember.

“How long has it been since you last drank?” she asked. His eyes darkened at the question; instead of answering, he raised her hand to his mouth, his lips pressing delicate kisses up her wrist to her palm. His tongue flicked out, running over the wound, and she gasped – it didn’t hurt, but that touch alone made her tremble. “Last night was the first night you stayed out in a while.”

She was surprised she could still talk normally. His nearness was making her mind fuzzy. “I didn’t go anywhere last night,” he mumbled, not meeting her gaze. “Just couldn’t sleep. I went out for a walk. Didn’t end up drinking from anyone.”

Before she could ask anything else, he bared his fangs and the next thing she knew they were piercing her skin, and a soft cry left her lips, the brief sting quickly replaced by an overwhelming sense of pleasure that radiated from her hand to the rest of her body. “Asmodeus…” Did that breathy voice belong to her? She felt her knees give way, but his other arm caught her, preventing her from falling to the ground.

She never knew such euphoria was possible. She was floating, and her head felt ridiculously light. She couldn’t move any part of her body, and she didn’t want to either. He was slow and careful, not allowing a single drop of blood to hit the ground, and she whimpered when he sucked gently on the wound. He looked almost dazed, and she thought woozily about how beautiful he was, drinking from her like this. “Asmodeus,” she repeated, her voice weak, trying to reach for his face.

He released her hand, running his tongue once again over the cut, giving her palm a tender kiss. His eyes almost seemed to shimmer, and for a moment neither of them said a word – then he scooped her into his arms and deposited her on his bed, his hand gently cupping her cheek. “You should rest. You lost a fair bit of blood,” he told her.

“I want you.” She sounded stronger than she felt, and she saw his shoulders stiffen – he glanced at her, and she thought that this hesitance was very different from the Asmodeus she was used to. “I want you, Asmodeus. I’ve wanted you for a while.”

He sighed. “Darling…” But he didn’t resist when she feebly latched onto his collar, going along when she pulled him onto her. He held himself up, careful not to lie on her, and she tugged at his collar, frowning at him. “If I had known that biting you would make you behave like this, then I would have bitten you sooner.” He shook his head, though there was a small smirk on his face. “Aren’t you tired, my little lamb?”

“No.” She thought about the pleasure his bite had brought her and she shuddered, moaning again. “Come here.” She cupped his face and he laughed into her mouth when she pulled him down to kiss her. He lowered himself gently onto her, and she squirmed under his weight, enjoying the sensation of his body against hers.

“Are you only doing this because you want me to bite you again?” he whispered. “I have to admit that you’re confusing me. Just this morning you were running away from my room, and now you’re in my bed, you’ve given me your blood…have you been possessed by a demon, perhaps?” But she could see the hope that hid in his eyes, sense it in the way he pulled back, waiting for her to give him an answer.

“Do you love me?” she asked instead, and he flinched at the question – her hands reached up to run through his silky hair, and she felt him relax a little at her touch.

“Love is such a fickle thing,” he murmured. “I could tell you yes today, but would it still be the same tomorrow?” His gaze softened. “What I can tell you is that I want to protect you. I want to see you smile. I like how you blush and turn away whenever I tease you. I don’t know about love, but you’re undeniably precious to me.”

The look on his face made her chest ache. “Who hurt you, Asmodeus?” she asked, sliding a hand down the side of his face to rest on his cheek.

He chuckled. “No one you need to care about.” His eyes darkened and she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck when he kissed her again, this time a deeper, hungrier kiss – her body jerked when he ground his hips against her, and she pulled back, her cheeks flushed. “Yes. Keep looking at me like that,” he breathed, his gaze flitting all over her face. “I love seeing how flustered you get around me.”

He ground his hips against her again, slowly this time, and her legs instinctively fell open, cradling him between her thighs. He lowered his head, his mouth trailing soft kisses across her neck, and her eyelids fluttered as she whimpered, getting dizzy from his touch, from his intoxicating scent. He groaned. “The women who flock to me pale in comparison to you, sweetheart,” he whispered, his breath ghosting against her ear.

“You’re a known womaniser. I ought to be more careful,” she gasped, her fingers digging into his shoulders when he slipped a hand between her thighs, underneath her skirt. Her skin tingled wherever he touched. “Asmodeus…”

“It’s been more than a month since I last slept with anyone,” he confessed, the ring of reverence in his words. “I can’t think about other women. They’re mere distractions, while I’m nothing but a fool, yearning for someone who only ever spurns my advances.” But his fingers inched up her thigh and she certainly wasn’t resisting now, her head jerking back into his pillows when he finally stroked her through her underwear. She was already wet.

“You must be really thirsty…” She wasn’t so far gone that she failed to realise the implications of his words. Asmodeus didn’t take his meals with the rest of the residents. He complained that bottled blood tasted stale. And if he hadn’t been with anyone for a month – “How did you manage to survive without drinking for that long?”

“I did feed. Sometimes. I just didn’t bed them. They didn’t interest me.” He nipped at her neck and she yelped, feeling his teeth graze her skin. “Their blood tasted so bland. They were nothing like this. Nothing like you.”

His fingers worked their way beneath her panties, and she sighed when he spread her damp folds, his slender fingers sliding languidly against her wet sex. “But enough about me. Tonight, I’m going to make you feel so good, you won’t want to leave this bed,” he promised. When she looked into his gorgeous eyes, she couldn’t help but believe him.

[positivelyominous]

Oxfordshire - 2008 AD (Again)

(Previous) (First) 

Azruba’al stumbled hastily out of the cab and tugged nervously at his bowtie. To remove at least a little complication from the evening, he had assumed the form he’d first met the current generation of Sisters in. Cutting around the back of St. Beryl’s Church, Azruba’al jogged to the rear entrance, clutching the picnic basket tightly in his arms. There was a man sitting on the little terrace there, next to the dustbins, smoking a pipe and looking troubled. He glanced up at Azruba’al as he approached and made to greet him.

“Er, hullo–“

“So sorry, can’t stop to chat, very late.”

The man next to the dustbins watched the other man’s form disappear into the building. He let out a small, helpless puff of smoke. First the unexpected contractions, then the oddly behaving staff, and now some strange fellow in a big coat rushing through the back doors with a picnic basket. Mr. Young had liked the look of the hospital when he’d brought his wife inside; it was clean and modern -but not too modern- and the presence of the nuns gave it a warm, serene feeling. But now he was wondering if everything was all right after all…

⧗

“Blast that stupid machine,” Azruba’al snarled under his breath, striding through the empty hallway, “Half an hour late, I am half an hour late! Please don’t have started without– well, they wouldn’t, would they? I mean they couldn’–“

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he nearly ran right into a black-robed figure coming around the corner.

“Oh! Good grievance, I–“

“Master Azruba’al! You’ve come at last!”

The demon in question straightened up, a look of relief brightening his pudgy features.

“It’s so nice to see you again,” said the nun, who was known amongst her Sisters as Mary Loquacious*, and was preparing to live up to her name, “I was barely out of Sunday school the first time– Hell’s teeth, you haven’t aged a bit! I–“

“Yes, yes, it’s lovely to see you again too, dear girl,” Azruba’al interrupted, quickly. He knew what would happen if he let her pick up steam, “I am rather late, I believe?”

“Oh yes, forty-six minutes and twenty-six seconds exactly,” Mary replied, with a cursory glance at the watch pinned to her breast.

Azruba’al scowled, “Right, you’d best be quick about it, then.”

He pressed the basket into Mary’s arms, “Here he is. Get him to the Cultural Attaché as quick as you can.”

“Oh my star– this– it’s him? The Adversary? Destroyer of Kings? Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Dark–“

“Hell’s sake, yes! Yes, it’s him, now hop along, there’s a good girl,” cried Azruba’al, nearly pushing the woman back around the corner, “We don’t want him to be forty-seven minutes late, do we?”

“Of course not, Master Azruba’al,” said Mary Loquacious, lifting one of the lids of the basket to peek at the Long String of Epithets That We Shall Hence Refer To As The Adversary, “Ohh, look at him! He’s got his daddy’s complexion!”

“They’re all like that at first,” said Azruba’al absentmindedly.

“No horns, though,” she remarked.

“I’m leaving, now,” said Azruba’al, letting go of the woman’s shoulders.

“Too young for fangs, and– oh! Yes, Satan keep you! Good night!”

Azruba’al was gone before she’d finished speaking. Mary gave a little shiver of excitement and bustled quickly down the hall. She could hardly believe it. Here she was, Sister Mary Loquacious-You’d-Best-Not-Get-It-Wrong-Again, cradling The Adversary. For all her years as a Satanist -which were indeed all of them, having been born into the faith- she’d never imagined that she would be at the thick of their greatest hour. No more tea-and-cookies duty for her. Speaking of, she’d meant to take a tin to the American Cultural Attaché…

“There you are!”

Sister Mary’s thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a very flustered Sister Grace Voluble.

“They’re getting antsy in there, they think something’s wrong! Have you got the– oh, for Hell’s sake, Mary, just a tin! They don’t need a whole picnic!”

Mary glanced down in confusion before puffing up a little, smugly, “I don’t have cookies. I don’t have a picnic, either. What I’ve got is the One We’ve All Been Waiting For, The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of––“

“Oh, thank the Fallen One,” interrupted Sister Grace, making to snatch the basket out of Mary’s hands.

Mary drew away, indignantly, “Master Azruba’al has entrusted me with the Child.”

Sister Grace looked as if she was about to argue, before thinking better of it.

“Well you had best get him to the nursery and tag him so we can deliver him to his ‘parents’. We can’t pretend to be weighing them forever.”

Mary nodded primly and marched towards the nursery.

There is a game teachers use to explain probability to their pupils. Each child receives a chart and a bag with a variable amount of red and blue tokens inside. They are instructed to remove a single token from the bag without looking, note its colour on the chart, then put it back in and repeat to their hearts content†. The point of the exercise is to show that the probability of drawing a red token or a blue token changes depending on how many of each token there are. For example, if there were two blue tokens, and one red token, it would be less likely to draw out the red token without looking. It would be even less likely, say, if someone painted the red token blue by mistake. Even if you were looking straight at the tokens, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.

There were three rosy-pink babies in three blue swaths resting in three hospital bassinets. Sister Mary had just wheeled in the last one, the most important one, and was heading towards the worktable for a pen and a tag. At that moment, another Sister entered.

“Mary! What are you doing in– oh! That’s all three, thank Bowels, we can finally send them off!”

Before Mary could protest that she hadn’t tagged the Adversary yet, and what if he got misplaced, the newly arrived Sister was chivying her out of the room, insisting she get those biscuits.

Mary let out a deep, disappointed sigh as the nursery door slammed behind her. Well. At least she’d get to meet the Cultural Attaché.

⧗

Mr. Young had returned to room three by this time. He found his wife asleep, and no baby to speak of. Luckily, a nearby nun explained that the child had been taken away to be examined, and Mr. Young decided it best to retire to his wife’s side in case she woke up and panicked in the interim. By the time his son was finished being ‘examined’ and was delivered into the grateful arms of a flustered Mrs. Young, Mr. Young felt as if he’d been there for an eternity. And it was about to get longer.

“Hello! Oh, your Lady wife’s awake, then, good!”

Another nun was bustling into the room, bringing with her a tin and the air of someone who was about to sit down for a long, enthusiastic chat.

⧗

Harriet Dowling was laying in a cot in room four, surrounded by a complement of six security men in imposing black uniforms. One of them was carrying the latest and greatest in videotelephone technology, through which Harriet was meant to see her husband, the American Cultural Attaché. Thaddeus Dowling was technically on the line. He just wasn’t there visually. Spiritually, he was sandwiched next to his wife with a cool cloth and a strong hand to squeeze. Physically, he was on a business trip.

It was Sister Faith Prolix who was the first to congratulate Harriet, and, coincidentally, the first to suggest a name for the baby now cradled comfortably in his mothers arms.

Wormwood was a bit unconventional, yes, but the kindly Sister Faith was ever so convincing. Besides, Harriet didn’t much feel like naming the child ‘Thaddeus’ at that point.

⧗

The demon Azruba’al hurried through the night, too distracted to even think of calling another cab. He needed to make an urgent phonecall. A phonecall his people wouldn’t be too pleased about, but hopefully one they’d never discover.

⧗

There was a third baby. It didn’t have a tag, and presumably, didn’t need one.

Sister Constance Pleonastic had it in the backseat of the church’s old station wagon, driving it down the darkened midnight road. There were only two families, after all.

“I really can’t believe it’s finally come,” she prattled on to herself, faithfully upholding her convent’s chiefest tradition, “What a time to be alive. My grandmother would have killed to be in my place… if those Warrens hadn’t got her first.”

There was an orphanage in the nearby town. There was also a lake. The baby in the backseat was growing fussy. It could feel that something was wrong, somehow. This was not the same dark, rumbling thing it had been in before, and the endless, droning voice did not belong to the gentle hands that had wrapped it in soft blue.

It wasn’t quite ready to be the The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness. It wouldn’t be for another eleven years. It did, however, possess something of a defence mechanism to ensure that it at least had a chance of getting there.

And so it was that at that moment precisely, a large black cat came padding out of the bushes on the side of the road and into Sister Constance’s headlights.

The cat yowled. The station wagon swerved.

GOOD EVENING, SISTER CONSTANCE, said Death, helping a very dazed Sister Constance Pleonastic up from her body, I AM SURE YOU ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED. BUT TAKE HEART THAT YOU WILL STILL HAVE A SEAT TO THE FINAL SPECTACLE, EVEN IF IT IS LOWER THAN THE ONE YOU HAD PREVIOUSLY.

After sending the unfortunate woman on her way, Death was preparing to leave for his next appointment when something else at the scene caught his attention. Not a death; those were a constant everywhere you went. Creatures big and small; something was always dying. No, this thing was quite unorthodox, as it existed in the living world. There was wailing from the backseat of the ruined car. A wailing that Death would have ignored, had it not come from this particular source.

Death knelt in the wreckage, gently pushed aside the cushion of airbags, and lifted a blue bundle into his arms.

I DID NOT EXPECT US TO MEET SO SOON, he said, thoughtfully, as the child immediately quieted in his embrace, BUT I SUPPOSE IT IS NOT AGAINST THE RULES. I HAVE YET TO RIDE. AND YOU HAVE YET TO CALL ME.

Even still, the child needed protection. It needed a home.

Without another word, Death drew a pitch-black wing of oblivion over the infant, and the both of them disappeared, leaving nothing behind but the smouldering wreck.

———————————————————————————————————

*It was called a Chattering Order for a reason. To explain it properly, however, one would have to do the authorial equivalent of joining up. Hopefully, the name says it all.

†Certain hearts grow content faster than others.

[snarky-badger]

How about a continuation on Ultron and the mechanic student? Student arrives at the penhouse and Ultron is inert doing a defrag and unresponsive. Gentle vandalism/decorating ensures.

Here you go!

Some people wanted smut, so I’m working up to it.

First part - Smooth Criminal. Second part - Movin’ On Up

Over the next month, you’d slowly gotten used to living at the penthouse. Though it was insanely lavish and you still didn’t think you deserved to live there, you didn’t deny that having a place to yourself was nice.

Well, almost to yourself.

While your first application to adopt a cat you’d seen at the shelter had fallen through due to someone else’s application being approved before yours, you did have an eight foot tall AI in the house.

Ultron was a surprisingly good roommate. True, there were days where he was absent, but five out of seven days a week, he shared the space with you; though he was always very respectful of the time you needed to study and the time you needed alone. It was nice, actually, to have someone available to chat with. He even helped you study, even though you knew damned well that he could probably teach the class in his sleep.

He did sleep. Or as close to it as possible. The first time you’d found him unresponsive on the couch, you’d thought something horrible had happened to him. It hadn’t lasted long, an hour at most, but when he’d ‘awoken’ and you’d wept in relief, Ultron had been quick to explain. It was a defrag of his code and systems, something he needed to do from time to time.

It left him almost completely defenseless - though he did have backup bodies and ‘copies’ of himself hidden away somewhere else just in case something happened. The fact that he felt safe enough to let himself be so vulnerable in your presence was a little flattering.

So, when you got home that day, tired from a long day at University, and a longer stint at the hospital from a slight accident - good Lord you weren’t looking forward to explaining your badly bruised knee to Ultron - and found him in that state, you couldn’t stop the slightly evil smirk from spreading across your lips.

Snickering, you pulled a pack of vinyl stickers out of your bag. You’d been waiting for a chance to get him back after he’d found packs of ramen in your backpack and thrown them out, and this was perfect.

You weren’t deemed a threat by his systems, so you easily snuck up to him, quickly pasting snarky comment stickers across his chest, arms and one right in the middle of his forehead.

Giggling, satisfied with your work, you slowly hobbled upstairs to your bedroom - goddamn your knee hurt when using the stairs - and headed for the shower. The hot water eased your tense muscles and helped you wash away the stress of the long, long, day, the added scent of oranges from your body wash helping to relax you.

You were squeaky clean and mostly human-feeling fifteen minutes later, redressed in comfortable, loose, jogging pants and your favorite Wonder Woman logo tank top. Hobbling down the stairs was a little harder than going up but you managed, sending a glance over at a still inert Ultron as you headed to the large Kitchen.

The open concept layout of the penthouse let you keep an eye on him while you made yourself supper, taking full advantage of the full fridge that Ultron kept stocked with meats, vegetables and fruits. Honestly, you needed to have a talk with him about how he managed to get food into the penthouse without your help. That, and you missed junk food. You’d kill for a pizza pocket.

Halfway through pan frying a chicken breast, you heard the whir of Ultron’s systems coming back online, heard him groan as he stretched, rolling his shoulders. You knew the moment he noticed his new ‘decorations’, saw him go still out of the corner of your eye as he rose his left arm and tilted his head at the stickers decorating him.

You fought to keep a straight face when he turned to look at you, biting your lip as you vibrated a little from trying to hold back your laughter.

“I see you’ve been busy.”

The amused tone made you snicker, and you kept your gaze locked on the pan as he rose from the couch and walked over to you. You did the mistake of looking up, seeing his quirked brow as he pulled the sticker from his forehead, and bit your lip as he read it aloud.

“’I’m out of my mind but feel free to leave a message’?”

You lost it at the baffled tone of his voice, hiccuping for breath as you leaned against the counter and cackled.

Ultron rolled his eyes at you and propped a hip against the island counter, idly unpeeling stickers from himself as he waited for you to calm down. It took you a full minute to get some control over yourself, wiping at the tears at the corners of your eyes.

“Finished?”

You fizzled, shaking your head.

Ultron heaved a theatrical sigh, then smirked. “Your food’s burning.”

“Aw, fuck!” You barely managed to save the chicken, glowering as you flipped the slightly crispy meat over onto it’s other side. As one of your roommates had once said ‘it’s not burnt, it’s Cajun.’

“Dare I ask if I missed any?” Ultron drawled as he moved to start placing the stickers onto the fridge. You’d slowly started to add your own touches to the penthouse - wall art, small knick knacks - stickers on the fridge wouldn’t bother you in the least.

You gave him a quick once-over, tried not to let your gaze linger on him too long - Jesus Christ what had he built himself to resemble? Some Greek Adonis? - then bit your lip. “Left shoulder.”

He scratched at the curved metal there, peeling off his final ‘decoration’. “‘Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial’? Hey!”

Bit your lip to hold back another laugh as you went to the fridge to grab some asparagus to put in the pan. “I thought it was funny.”

“You have a twisted mind. Are you limping?”

“No?”

Crimson eyes narrowed a little at your brush off. “That’s not something you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

“Ultron, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, otherwise next time I’ll put stickers someplace you can’t reach.”

“Kinky.” You almost lost it at that. Yelped when he moved to take the pan and spatula out of your hands, moving them out of your reach before he scooped you up and carried you around the island counter to one of the bar stools.

A sigh left you as he gently set you down onto one of the stools. “Ultron–”

“Show me.”

“Goddammit.” Grumbling, you pulled up your right pant leg until your red and swollen knee was visible, shivering a little when he growled. Other than that, Ultron was silent as he crouched and gently prodded at your knee, testing the range of motion and scowling when you flinched with a hiss of pain. “I went to the hospital. They took x-rays and everything. They said it’s just a really bad bruise.”

“It’s a little worse than that.”

“Did you just scan me again? Dude–”

“I scanned your leg, yes. And whatever doctor you saw was either an idiot or blind. You have a hairline fracture of the patella. You shouldn’t be walking on this.” He paused, closing his eyes for a second, head tilting. You knew he was focusing his attention on one of his other forms, his ‘sentries’ as he called them. “I’ve got a sentry incoming with better medical supplies. What happened?”

“Ultron…” It shouldn’t be possible for an eight-foot AI to have a kicked-puppy look, but somehow, he managed. You sighed and glanced away. “I got pushed down the stairs.”

His expression darkened. “By whom? That idiot in your class that has it out for you?” When you didn’t say anything, he glowered. “Is he being penalized at least?”

“No witnesses, no proof,” you muttered, recounting what the head of the mechanics program had told you when you’d gone to him, telling him of the asshole’s attitude towards you. As if being a woman in a male dominated field wasn’t hard enough, you had your own personal bully to deal with along with an uncaring teacher. You’d have thought all that shit was only in high school, not University.

Assholes were everywhere, apparently.

“They want proof? Oh, I’ll give them proof,” Ultron growled, voice like gravel, and you blinked as you refocused on him. You’d never really seen him angry before. Upset yes, irritated, of course, but not full on pissed. “Are you willing to press charges?”

“Charges? What, like the cops? Ultron–”

“He assaulted you. You’re lucky you didn’t break your neck.” He visibly struggled to reel in his anger, his hands rising to lightly clasp yours. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

The worry in his voice threw you for a loop. “No. No, just sore. Might have some more bruises tomorrow, but it’s nothing serious.”

“You didn’t hit your head?”

“Nothing hurts.” You blinked when he rose to his full height, his hands sliding into your still damp hair. His fingers gently prodded at your skull, smoothing over your scalp, and you frowned when he grumbled and tapped at a spot near your ear, the touch making you wince.

“Just a bump. Still. You’re lucky.” He slid his arms around you, and you froze a little in surprise before leaning into the hug, closing your eyes when he rose a hand to cup the back of your head.

“I’m alright,” you murmured to him as you curled your arms around his waist, hugging him back. Felt him sigh and relax into you, bending a little to nuzzle his face into your hair. “I promise I’m alright.”

“You could have been seriously hurt.”

You blinked when you realized that there was actual fear in his voice. Tried to pull away to look up at him, except he held you tighter. “Ultron?”

He gave you a squeeze before pulling away, his hands rising to cup your face, crimson eyes searching yours before he leaned in and rest his forehead against yours, voice soft. “You’re my only friend, do you know that? The only person who’s not afraid of me on this entire planet. I have no one else. And the thought of losing you–”

His voice cut off, his eyes roaming your face, looking for something. Your confusion wasn’t what he was hoping to see, crimson eyes narrowing a little before he sighed and started to pull away.

Except you reached up to touch his face, thumb brushing across the tiny, intricate, pieces of metal that gave him such in depth expressions. He froze, and you met his gaze for an instant before you said ‘fuck it’ to all the warning bells in your head, and leaned in to kiss him.

He made a low noise of surprise, tensing, stiff against you, and, thinking you’d just ruined everything, you jerked away, flushing in shame. “I’m sorry. I–”

“Shh.” One large metal hand cupped the side of your face, tugging you close again, and whatever apology you had been planning on saying died as he lowered his mouth onto yours, warm metal brushing across your lips, gentle at first, then with more hunger. The little nip he gave you made you gasp, pulling a low chuckle from him as he leaned back. “Took you long enough.”

“Took me–? Dude! Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I’m an AI in a metal body and I didn’t want to scare you away.” There was a hint of self-loathing in Ultron’s voice, and you reached up to lay your hand over his where he was still cupping the side of your face.

“We both know that I don’t scare easy.”

A low chuckle left him. “True.” His thumb lightly stroked your face, and you leaned into the touch, shivering a little when he settled his free hand on the small of your back, fingers slipping under the hem of your tank to touch bare skin.

“Stupid question: can you feel this?” You trailed your left hand along his throat, and down, palming his chest armor, fingers finally free to explore the intricate pieces of metal he had made himself out of. The shudder that went through him was an emphatic ‘yes’.

“T-Tactile systems,” Ultron stuttered, crimson eyes brightening a little, and you smirked, casually continuing your exploration of him. “Microscopic overlay woven over every piece and connected to a nervous system a-analog– That’s very distracting.”

“I’m a mechanic. We’re very ‘hand’s on’.”

“I’ll show you ‘hand’s on’.”

You laughed as he relocated you from the bar stool to the island counter, the change in height saving him from having to bend over so much. As soon as you were settled, his mouth was on yours, his hands slipping under your top to palm your sides, stroking over your skin. You shivered at the low noise of pleasure that left him when you copied his movements, exploring his form, fingers dipping past his outer armor to touch more reactant parts that had him gasping against you.

A thud from the second floor had you pulling away in alarm. “What was that?”

“Sentry.” Ultron ducked his head to nuzzle the side of your neck, grazing his mouth across your pulse. “Don’t worry. Nothing can get near this penthouse without me knowing about it. I built the security system myself.”

“If I find a single camera in the bathrooms–”

He chuckled and rose his head. “There are no cameras in the bathrooms. There are only sensors to monitor if they’re occupied, that’s it.”

“Okay then.” You turned your head to watch as the sentry descended the stairs. Ultron had told you that he could ‘inhabit’ multiple bodies at the same time, that he could be hundreds of places all at once, but actually seeing it was something else.

It was much more basic in design than Ultron. It was just a little taller than you at around six feet, with only two slits for it’s eyes and a gaping mouth on an otherwise expressionless face. It didn’t move as fluidly as Ultron either, walking stiffly over to the two of you to hand over the large black case it was carrying.

You mourned the lack of contact as Ultron pulled away from you to lift the large case and set it on the counter, flicking open the locks to reveal the biggest, most elaborate first aid kit you’d ever seen. “Wow.”

“SHIELD always has the nicest toys,” Ultron mused with a smirk as he carefully rummaged through the kit.

“You knicked this from SHIELD?!”

“A while back, yes. Long before I met you, actually. Didn’t really think I’d ever need to use it, but, well, finder’s keepers and all that. Aha! There it is.” He pulled out a brightly labeled pill bottle and handed it to you. “One pill, three times a day, for two weeks. It’ll speed up your healing. Hopefully you won’t need to use the crutches for more than a week.”

Your amazement died. “Crutches?”

“You need to stay off that leg,” Ultron told you firmly. “If that hairline fracture worsens, your recovery time will quadruple. I’ve already falsified a doctor’s note for you and emailed it to your teachers - and the faculty heads of the mechanics department - so you can take a couple of days off without being penalized for it. And yes, I sent copies to the Shop you work at.”

You shook your head a little in mixed amazement and hilarity. “You really are a mother-hen.”

“I resent that. Ugh, there’s no brace in here. I’ll have to wrap your knee until I can find one for you.” He unwrapped a roll of elastic bandage, flicking the plastic away before moving over to you, lifting your leg so you could prop your foot against his hip. “Don’t move, okay? I need to make sure this isn’t too tight.”

“Yup.” Had an awesome vantage point of seeing his hands move as he rapidly wrapped your leg from mid-thigh down to mid-calf. What would have taken a human minutes, Ultron finished in five seconds. It even fit perfectly - though knowing Ultron, he’d probably run calculations seven times over to ensure that it fit. “Thanks.”

“Welcome. Here, hold this to your knee.” He cracked a ‘quick cold’ pack, shaking it a little to encourage the chemical reaction within, then handed it to you. You dutifully pressed it to your knee, holding it in place until he found some medical tape to take over the job. “There. That’ll do for now. How does it feel?”

You flexed it a little, the elastic bandage limiting your movements. “Not bad. Though it’s always the next day that hurts the most.”

“The bandage should help keep the swelling down. I’ll adjust it again tomorrow.” Ultron quickly reorganized the massive kit, then closed it and relocked it. “Now, knowing you, you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

“I had a muffin!” He sent you a knowing look, and you glanced away. “And six cups of coffee.”

“You’re exasperating, you know that?” Though the comment was greatly lessened by the kiss he stole as he carefully relocated you back onto a bar stool. “Sit tight. I’ll finish fixing your supper.”

“I can–” The look he gave you made you abort your attempt to get to your feet. “I’ll just sit right here, then. Since when can you cook?”

“Since you moved in.” He had his back to you, so he didn’t see the blush that stained your face, or how it intensified as you let your gaze slowly travel down his body. “Besides, it’s basic chemistry. Enjoying the view?”

You jerked, had to grab at the edge of the counter to keep from falling off the chair. “What, you have eyes in the back of your head?”

Ultron laughed, smirking at you over his shoulder. “Forgot about the sentry, hm?”

Your gaze flit over to the stock still form nearby as Ultron’s voice echoed out of it. “Son of a– Okay, pick a body and stick to it, please. You’re flustering the human.”

“But, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” At least this time his voice came from the right body.

Your eyes narrowed. “I have more stickers.”

“I wouldn’t threaten the person who doesn’t need to sleep for the next week if I were you,” Ultron teased, showing off by flipping the piece of chicken and stalks of asparagus into the air and catching everything in the frying pan again. “I know about the Hagen Daaz you snuck in.”

“Touch the ice cream and next time it won’t be stickers, it’ll be permanent marker.”

“Oooh. I’m shaking.”

“Smart ass.”

“You love me.”